cohero | (Reply)

From:

Maybe I'm not as much of a closed book as I thought. At least, I'm trying to be a little better about it. But at least you understand parts of it. I don't think there is anyone else in the world who does.

What is that saying? Acceptance is a step in the right direction at least. I think maybe you're giving yourself too much credit on the relationship thing. Maybe you haven't always been perfect but maybe some of them just weren't the right fit? I don't know. You have a lot more experience when it comes to relationships than I do but I have fucked up any chance at even friendships. I self-sabotage because that's easier than people seeing me for who I am and it not being good enough.

I know. You have told me. I should have taken you more seriously. I thought maybe heat of the moment? I don't know. I'm not going to lie and say it isn't hard to believe that you looked at me back then too. I'm not saying I doubt you just it hasn't sunk in I don't think. I didn't want to get hopes up too early. I don't know if I can stress enough how long I've wanted you to look back at me and I had no idea.

It's ok. I'm not trying to get you to talk about it. Just saying I didn't know and maybe I should have realized that. I have a lot of shit I'm not ready to talk about and never have. That's an area that's a lot harder for me to work on I think. I'm not still at your place I figured it would be best to not be here when you got back tonight but I can turn around and come back?