cohero | (Reply)

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( part of him has to wonder if this is the alcohol talking. he knew dick had been drinking some prior to his arrival — prior to the invite he'd decided to accept, when dick had been indulging on his own here. but he doesn't believe the other man to be intoxicated at the moment and that his words are that which fall to the side of genuine rather than a result of alcohol. although, the alcohol could possibly be giving him the courage — the nudge of sorts to do so, but. he's more than sure the other man is aware of his words. of his actions and his touches.

at least that's good to know. or is it? overthinking, as always. that's bruce wayne for you, no matter the version.

this version, however, lets blue eyes slip shit and a hum to rumble deep in the back of his throat as lips are drawn across pale skin. his scars are more beneath his clothes, littered across his back and chest. some in the process of healing, others still fresh and angry.

a duck of his head, dark strands of hair fall in front of his face and his mind kicks into overdrive. what to do. what to say. what he's feeling right now. he's had a couple glasses himself and he could chalk it all up to that. but he knows he's sober. knows he's nowhere near being intoxicated and he doesnt even want to be, truth be told. because another thought touches him. that maybe dick is just as lonely as he is. when he really stops to think about it. when he's not distracted with being so hyper focused on something or someone that needs to be taken care of. when all of that is gone and there's the silence that gives way to thoughts and feelings so often pushed aside and ignored. maybe that's what this is. seeing and finding that same loneliness tucked away inside a darkness that's become so familiar now. and because it's familiar, it almost feels safe in some unhealthy sort of way.

gentle as it is, a huff leaves bruce then and as he lifts his head some, when he speaks, it's with his own lips brushing over dick's. )

Nothing about this is ok.

( for dick, mostly. because he's sure this is liable to hit him with some sort of existential crisis when it all really hits him later. that's why he should leave. for dick's sake. but bruce sometimes makes questionable decisions and it's why rather than leave like he should, he kisses him. soft at first before it becomes a little harder and hands come up to hold dick's face, forehead pressing to his. eyes closed. a sliver of sanity grasped. )

I can't be what you need because you need someone better than me.

( because bruce is still selfish in his own ways and can't untangle himself from his other self. from the dark knight that's consumed him and his life. )