What do moms know about a guys needs? I mean, I honestly don't have a clue since I didn't have a mom growing up. [He shrugs, pretty damn clueless.]
No, no way. He and I never mentioned a word of it after it happened. It was a one time thing never to be spoken of again. I don't think we even looked sideways at one another after that.
[lifts his head a little higher and looks Iggy straight on, hovering close to him with a look] You know you don't want to tease me like that when you can't back yourself up, or take the punishment. I am possessive during sex, that you very well know and I've never hid that. I'll get my knife out and carve a mark on you. [He teases, lifting a brow with a small laugh.]
I know, and I bet she must have thrown a fit at the bill. What toys did you get anyways?
It was shitty of us. It's the only time I ever was involved in voluntary cheating. I'm not normally that person. I mean, I may have met someone at the bar and not known, but [he shrugs. it was that heat of the fight thing, and being with a guy. Dick was probably more male leaning than he let on, and when it happened he didn't know how to say no at the time. He felt like shit for a long time, but he's working on being better now.]
I'm kidding, I promise. I mean, knives may be sexy, but I'd never carve my initials in someone. It was a joke. You can relax. I've never even messed around with any of that. The most I've done is left a really dark hickey.
That's nothing too shocking. I was wondering if little you was adventurous. I had a person they called The Playboy as my mentor, and he always had a different woman on his arm. I don't know if anyone was really shocked when I got excited over Wonder Woman early on.
[Plus his best friend was Donna Troy and they always compared notes about their mentors. It was easy to think about both of them that way when he was younger. ]
Like cars are sexy, knives are sexy. Things I enjoy. I mean, I like close combat weapons, several kinds. [he shrugs, nudging the conversation away from where it had been because digging into any of his darker urges or desires isn't a place he likes to go, doesn't trust himself to go with anyone. ]
Hey, at least you knew exactly what you were and owned it. I had plenty of identity problems growing up. Trying to be my own person wasn't always easy. Bruce had an idea of who he wanted me to be, and by the time I realized that I didn't want to be exactly that, it... got messy.
[a small way of putting exactly what happened. Dick gets up and takes the empty soup container and juice to the kitchen, coming back with some water a bit of lemon he found squeezed in for a touch of vitamin C, and recools the cloth that he had on Iggy's forehead.]
Superman is a busy guy. Wonder Woman is hot, what can i say. I like the idea of a dominant woman. [Dick laughs. ]
I promise, I'm not a serial killer. There are plenty of people who collect weapons. Ebay is full of them. I do martial arts, and practice my old acrobat skills as a part of it. It keeps me in shape and I enjoy it. They all go with the territory. Every ninja has to have their weapons. [he grins wide, and playfully flips his finger down iggy's nose.]
I imagine we all struggle with who we are supposed to be...
[It puts him into thought for a quiet little bit after he's back. He lets his eyes roam over Iggy, enjoying the sight before him. Hoping that he's feeling a little on the mend, even if tonight's discussion has been awkward as fuck.]
How do you know they don't think knives are hot. Fine, it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm bringing them into our bedroom. I haven't brought in any toys, yet. I'm about what you like, anyways. [he's got a small smile on his face too, because he means it. Dick is very much about pleasing the person he's with in bed.]
I imagine that some little kids who want to be firefighters really do grow up to be them, but lots of those end up as bartenders, or carpenters too.
[It had been tied back earlier, and Dick almost wishes he'd left it down but he knows that it must be annoying to keep down when Iggy's not feeling well. Still, he wants to lay there next to him running his fingers through it. It's so hard not to be close right now. At least he can kiss Iggy's shoulder, smiling against the skin while Dick shakes his head.]
You. Whatever am I going to do with you. I don't know what I am, except slightly addicted to you and that's both our bad luck then. I mean, there are things I let you do for me, don't get me wrong but I want you to like it too. I want to give you what you want most.
I wanted to be a high flyer like my parents, or to work at the circus for a long time and then I wanted to be a superhero.
[The second part was as close as he could come to the truth, and he tipped his head slightly looking at Iggy, lips pushed to the side.]
While I do like you. I haven't fallen for you. I mean, it could happen but those things take time. I'm ... Well, I can see why we are having awkward conversations, yes. Except, I'm not renting you out. It's a part of getting to know someone.
[He's a person who is used to taking care of others. It's in his nature. He's been working on it, but at his core he will always fight the duality of his very male need to fix perceived problems, his vigilante nature to right wrongs and the side of himself that wants to take care of others. Dick, like most people is a relatively messy, complex human.]
[A soft smile.] I know. It probably shouldn't happen, to be quite frank.
And trust me, I know - you're not paying me shit! You get all this for free. If I'd known you were rich when I met you we wouldn't be talking about this at all, I'd be keeping you so happy.
When I was young and with my parents, I did what they did and loved it. [there's pride and a smile that touches his eyes, even if there's sadness there too.]
Yeah, I get it. We started out on how a relationship with you is pretty impossible. I don't plan on doing anything to forward any sort of feelings on that level, trust me. I don't care to feel more than I have to.
[a snicker] You're sick. Relax on keeping me happy, and just focus on getting better. That will make me happy enough and I take you out. If you ever asked me for something specifically, I think you know you would have gotten it.
I meant getting falling for you if it's not going to go anywhere, and I'm going to get hurt. Most people have natural preservation instincts. I'm being honest about mine.
I would too. I don't know why you think I wouldn't have?
It was until they were murdered. [He moves back a little. He's had therapy when he was a kid. It didn't work well, and the only thing that did was becoming Robin. Maybe he's got some emotional issues, but he's working on those too. Today talking to Iggy has been a disaster. Not telling the whole story has made it harder. He doesn't even know why he tried any of this. ]
I hear you. Okay, and there are times when I can be indulgent and other times when I don't care about the money Bruce has given me. It's not a thing. I use it when I want, or need. I don't think about it most of the time.
[a pause]
Maybe you should rest for tonight and I'll come check in on you tomorrow. Maybe you'll be feeling a little better?
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No, no way. He and I never mentioned a word of it after it happened. It was a one time thing never to be spoken of again. I don't think we even looked sideways at one another after that.
[lifts his head a little higher and looks Iggy straight on, hovering close to him with a look] You know you don't want to tease me like that when you can't back yourself up, or take the punishment. I am possessive during sex, that you very well know and I've never hid that. I'll get my knife out and carve a mark on you. [He teases, lifting a brow with a small laugh.]
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That's so shitty of you guys. Shitty of him for cheating, shitty of you for going along with it.
[Iggy looks back, smile a little nervous.] ...that's actually really scary, Dick. I am ninety percent sure you're kidding, but.
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It was shitty of us. It's the only time I ever was involved in voluntary cheating. I'm not normally that person. I mean, I may have met someone at the bar and not known, but [he shrugs. it was that heat of the fight thing, and being with a guy. Dick was probably more male leaning than he let on, and when it happened he didn't know how to say no at the time. He felt like shit for a long time, but he's working on being better now.]
I'm kidding, I promise. I mean, knives may be sexy, but I'd never carve my initials in someone. It was a joke. You can relax. I've never even messed around with any of that. The most I've done is left a really dark hickey.
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Oh, a dildo. [A grin.] I refused to use a household object.
At least you know it.
How are knives sexy? Legit question, not being sarcastic.
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[Plus his best friend was Donna Troy and they always compared notes about their mentors. It was easy to think about both of them that way when he was younger. ]
Like cars are sexy, knives are sexy. Things I enjoy. I mean, I like close combat weapons, several kinds. [he shrugs, nudging the conversation away from where it had been because digging into any of his darker urges or desires isn't a place he likes to go, doesn't trust himself to go with anyone. ]
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I don't really pay attention to superheroes. They're all kinda weird. Except maybe Superman, he seems okay.
Mmm. It's very serial killer-y sounding, that's all I'm saying.
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[a small way of putting exactly what happened. Dick gets up and takes the empty soup container and juice to the kitchen, coming back with some water a bit of lemon he found squeezed in for a touch of vitamin C, and recools the cloth that he had on Iggy's forehead.]
Superman is a busy guy. Wonder Woman is hot, what can i say. I like the idea of a dominant woman. [Dick laughs. ]
I promise, I'm not a serial killer. There are plenty of people who collect weapons. Ebay is full of them. I do martial arts, and practice my old acrobat skills as a part of it. It keeps me in shape and I enjoy it. They all go with the territory. Every ninja has to have their weapons. [he grins wide, and playfully flips his finger down iggy's nose.]
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[He stays put, murmuring a thanks when Dick returns.]
That's not surprising.
Yeah, and they don't go, "knives are hot!" [Not grumbled with any real bite, though. He even almost smiles.]
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[It puts him into thought for a quiet little bit after he's back. He lets his eyes roam over Iggy, enjoying the sight before him. Hoping that he's feeling a little on the mend, even if tonight's discussion has been awkward as fuck.]
How do you know they don't think knives are hot. Fine, it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm bringing them into our bedroom. I haven't brought in any toys, yet. I'm about what you like, anyways. [he's got a small smile on his face too, because he means it. Dick is very much about pleasing the person he's with in bed.]
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[Iggy runs his hands through his hair and then secures it back with an elastic.] You so want to, you perv.
[He hiccups a brief laugh, there and gone.] Well, that's a problem, since most everything I do is for your benefit.
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[It had been tied back earlier, and Dick almost wishes he'd left it down but he knows that it must be annoying to keep down when Iggy's not feeling well. Still, he wants to lay there next to him running his fingers through it. It's so hard not to be close right now. At least he can kiss Iggy's shoulder, smiling against the skin while Dick shakes his head.]
You. Whatever am I going to do with you. I don't know what I am, except slightly addicted to you and that's both our bad luck then. I mean, there are things I let you do for me, don't get me wrong but I want you to like it too. I want to give you what you want most.
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I dunno, I think that's why we've been having these awkward conversations. You've inadvertently fallen for a people-pleasing rentboy, my dear.
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[The second part was as close as he could come to the truth, and he tipped his head slightly looking at Iggy, lips pushed to the side.]
While I do like you. I haven't fallen for you. I mean, it could happen but those things take time. I'm ... Well, I can see why we are having awkward conversations, yes. Except, I'm not renting you out. It's a part of getting to know someone.
[He's a person who is used to taking care of others. It's in his nature. He's been working on it, but at his core he will always fight the duality of his very male need to fix perceived problems, his vigilante nature to right wrongs and the side of himself that wants to take care of others. Dick, like most people is a relatively messy, complex human.]
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[A soft smile.] I know. It probably shouldn't happen, to be quite frank.
And trust me, I know - you're not paying me shit! You get all this for free. If I'd known you were rich when I met you we wouldn't be talking about this at all, I'd be keeping you so happy.
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Yeah, I get it. We started out on how a relationship with you is pretty impossible. I don't plan on doing anything to forward any sort of feelings on that level, trust me. I don't care to feel more than I have to.
[a snicker] You're sick. Relax on keeping me happy, and just focus on getting better. That will make me happy enough and I take you out. If you ever asked me for something specifically, I think you know you would have gotten it.
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That's so dysfunctional sounding. I really think you should be in therapy, Dick. I'm saying that as a friend.
Bullshit, you would not have taken me shopping.
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I meant getting falling for you if it's not going to go anywhere, and I'm going to get hurt. Most people have natural preservation instincts. I'm being honest about mine.
I would too. I don't know why you think I wouldn't have?
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And I'm saying: go to therapy, Dick.
Because you don't seem that indulgent! You're gonna let me try on five hundred things and then just hand over your credit card?
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I hear you. Okay, and there are times when I can be indulgent and other times when I don't care about the money Bruce has given me. It's not a thing. I use it when I want, or need. I don't think about it most of the time.
[a pause]
Maybe you should rest for tonight and I'll come check in on you tomorrow. Maybe you'll be feeling a little better?
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Spoken like a true rich guy.
[He sighs and nods.] Yeah. And like... thanks. Even if you're kinda off, you're a good guy underneath it all. I do appreciate what you've done.
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[Getting up, Dick leans over and kisses Iggy on the forehead. It was a weird night and Dick is ready for a nightcap and to sleep it off. ]
I'll see you tomorrow, I'm sure and I'll bring you something nice. Okay? Stay gorgeous.
[Dick runs his hand down Iggy's body affectionately, and then wanders out.]