Dick & Iggy PSL Open Post/Overflow/Inbox

[cohero]

DICK & IGGY

❤

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[dead_tongue]

yeeeeah don't wait for me, I gotta go. I'll text you later?

[Typed as he heads for the elevator. If he thought this through better he might not be so hasty, but Iggy isn't always that bright.]

[cohero]

okay.

[Unfortunately it hits Dick hard that Iggy doesn't even ask for Dick's help, or share a bit of what's going on, why he doesn't want him to wait-- or anything of the sort. After all that Dick's shared with Iggy, a thing that could damage him and his reputation forever as a vigilante this is a pretty big slap.

Taking a deep breath, Dick sits and stays for the remainder of the meal that hasn't been served yet. He wants to sit and think over their relationship. It's a lot of up and down already, and there's so much about one another that they don't understand or click on. They have deep problems reading and really deeply getting what they talk about. Like earlier, Dick hadn't been defensive at all. He'd been talking, and having a discussion.

Things seem to go from serious to flippant in seconds, and Dick doesn't get how Iggy does that either. He mulls this over as he eats the dinner they'd ordered. Eventually leaving and returning to his place alone.]

[dead_tongue]

[It's three-thirty in the morning when the next text comes.]

I'm alive!

guess I owe you dinner.

[cohero]

[Work is the easiest thing for Dick to do when he's conflicted in anyway so the text hits him when he's up on a rooftop.

He glances at it with a raised brow and sends back a response. ]

Glad you made it. I'm alive too. Working.

We'll talk later.

[dead_tongue]

ok.

be careful out there.

[In his cramped apartment, Iggy sighs. He's not quite so clueless that he doesn't recognise that Dick miiiiight be upset, but on the other hand the guy is a vigilante. Of course he's working at the ass-end of night.

So he watches some YouTube and falls asleep, vaguely unsettled but more or less confident that they really will talk.]

[cohero]

[The message is read, but left that way. Dick has to figure out how he wants to handle everything still and give himself time to get over his initial upset.

They'd talked about how Dick had trouble expressing things, and not talking about them. He's doing his best to talk about everything now with Iggy, at least that's what he thought he was doing. But, he gets told he's being defensive. Dick's not so sure now that sharing his feelings or thoughts is necessarily the way to go. Maybe it's easier to keep it in, to not share everything. Bruce had it right.

Maybe Dick is just still really grand at fucking up relationships. It's not like this one has lasted all that long. They've had a couple of nights together and a date. It's alright. Dick wants more, but doesn't even know if he has the right to ask for it, and they're supposed to be dating, but honestly, Dick doesn't know what that means between them. He's learned a few things, and feels like some of the things that he enjoys, Iggy doesn't because Dick isn't one of his 'men' ... Dick wonders if Iggy gets more from them than Dick.

There's so much that Dick wants to do and try. He's got a lot of things on his bucket list, but they don't. Dick doesnt' want to disrespect Iggy. Then talking is strained, and now there's this ghost thing. Maybe they don't work. He's so flustered and overthinking like normal. After a few days he sends a text. ]

If you want to talk, feel free to come by some time. I'll be here and off for the next few days.

[dead_tongue]

[Of all the things he was expecting, getting ghosted for a few days was not on the list. So when Dick's text comes, Iggy is a little nonplussed.

Still, he keeps it friendly.]

ok! but I have a better idea: meet me at the art gallery at 7? I owe you a date. :)

[cohero]

Can we meet and talk first and then go to the gallery. I want to talk about what happened before we go out. I think we have things to discuss first. I'm sorry I went silent, but I needed to think.

[There's a mixed bag of feelings for Dick. He still likes Iggy so much, but he's so worried about how things work between them. He knows that they have to sit and talk it out. It's not easy for him, but it can't sit on his mind and fester either-- and doing it in private is much better than doing it at an art gallery.]

[dead_tongue]

yeah, sure. you wanna come over? or is that too personal?

[cohero]

I can come over, that's no trouble. I'll be there in a few. If that's alright?

[dead_tongue]

sure. I'll be here.

[cohero]

[Uncertainty creeps in the closer he gets. Dick knows what he should do, but there's so much emotion tied to it, and thoughts about what he's trying to do to make himself a better person make him begin to doubt his mission. His resolve wobbles when he parks his bike outside and gets off, hanging the helmet on the handle.

Walking up to Iggy's door, Dick knocks. He's only been here a handful of times. He's always wanted to ask Iggy to move in, but the few times he suggested it, Iggy treated him like he was a one of his sugar daddys (or whatever Iggy wanted to call them-- Dick tried not to pay so much attention), so he stopped bringing it up.]

[dead_tongue]

[Lucky for Dick, Iggy's many roommates aren't home. He himself answers the door with a tentative smile.]

Come in. I made coffee, you want some?

[cohero]

[He looks good, like he always does. Dick smiles softly and nods. ]

Yeah, sure. Coffee sounds great.

[Glancing around, Dick notices the quiet. ]

Wow, never seen it this quiet around here.

[dead_tongue]

Yeah, it's a rare occurrence.

[Iggy steps into the little kitchen to get them each a cup of coffee.]

So. Are you mad? Is that why you want to talk privately?

[He hands Dick his mug, looking curious but not especially upset.]

[cohero]

[For lack of a better place currently, Dick leans over a counter and presses his lips together. He wrinkles his nose a bit. ]

I'm not mad. I was upset, frustrated. I mean, I knew what you were dealing with or thought I did and you up and left me without giving me any credit. I would have been happy to done anything, anything for you and you didn't even give me a chance. You didn't even bother to tell me the truth. That hurt. I've been opening up to you, because you have been pushing me to in some ways.

I mean...

[He pauses. He wasn't going to say this much, but he's not sure how not to. It's a difficult choice to make. He doesn't want to go completely backwards. Two word sentences and short clips of thoughts got him no where, and ruined all the things he had. This isn't much better though. This communication thing.]

I want us to communicate. I don't feel like we actually do, not on an even level.

[dead_tongue]

So... okay. Will you listen to my perspective without immediately telling me that I'm wrong because you have Deep Inner Workings? Because, Dick, I adore you, but you are extremely quick to throw how much you do in my face.

[He sighs and sips his coffee. Where to start?]

You're a vigilante, right? You've told me many times that that's your life's work. It's the most important thing in your life. If we were having dinner and the city needed you, you'd leave, right?

[cohero]

Wow. Sure. okay.

[That felt like a smack in his face if ever there was one. Dick suddenly realized that talking really wasn't getting them anywhere, and apparently Dick had been overwhelming Iggy since they started dating and he needed to back off quite a bit. So, he listened. He'd never meant to throw anything like that in Iggy's face at all. They really hadn't gone out all that much, and his feelings were enough, but they weren't love or anything close to it.

Dick thought about the question. With the way things were in the city now he shrugged. It really depended on what happened. ]

I only recently told you, but yes. That's my job. It's not the only or most important thing in my life. No one actually calls me anymore first off. I make my own hours. If there was a massive emergency, it would depend. Babs is pretty competent and her force is very good at what they do. She also has Argus helping her now. I made the choice to come back to work. I didn't have to. I enjoy what I do. I also need time away. That was what I didn't do before, and it fucked up my relationships, so no, I'm not so sure I would unless the world depended on it. I'd also tell you what was going on and take you home or somewhere safe.

[Dick was calm in his words. There wasn't emotion behind them, merely thought as he went through what would happen and how he felt about what he did now. He'd been through quite a bit, and this was how he lived his life now. ]

[dead_tongue]

[Iggy listens, expression patient. He's growing quite used to the fact that Dick likes to explain things. When he speaks his voice is gentle.]

Alright. That's more than fair.

Look. I'm sorry for rushing off. I really am. But it's...

[He stops to sip his coffee and thinks.]

I brought up your work because it's the only thing I can think of that might be similar. I don't do medium work anymore. I gave it up. But if someone notices me? They can be really, really insistent. Sometimes I'm all they've got.

In retrospect I wish I hadn't hurried off, but you seemed so chill. You were all... 'yeah babe, do what you gotta do' and I just kinda thought that meant you understood. But then you blew me off for a few days, and I was like, 'okay, so, he's not okay with it.'

[He regards Dick calmly.]

You wanna know where I went? Or do you not care? Genuinely curious.

[cohero]

[Dick nods, and doesn't say anything more because he is genuinely interested. This is what Iggy did, and a big part of who he is.

It's most certainly all Dick wants to know about. Dick did say that if they needed to go, they could. He wasn't sure how things worked when there was a ghost around. That's why Dick tried to be understanding in the first place. ]

I do. I want to know where you went and what happened. I want to know about you. Genuinely.

[dead_tongue]

Alright.

[Iggy has some more coffee first. The boy loves his stimulants.]

I left and spent a few hours trying to track down this dead guy's sister. I finally did, and then I had to go to her house like a complete fucking maniac, because the problem with calling people to say 'hey, your dead relative is here with me' is that they can hang up on you. So I had to find her, get her not to slam the door in my face by revealing private information, then spend more time explaining to her what he wanted me to tell her.

Which was bananas, for the record. Never trust anyone when money is involved in your will, Dick.

Anyway. So that's why I texted you so late. And then... you blew me off for like three days.

[He shrugs.]

You like to tell me like, 'this is how I am, Iggy.' And that's fine. I like who you are.

But tell me: who do you think I am?

[cohero]

I don't know who you are. I think that's the problem. I want to know who you are, who we are.

[Dick reaches across and takes Iggy's hand, meeting their fingers together. He knows he hasn't done enough listening. He needs to figure out how to do it better. He needs to be silent far more often.]

Tell me more about you, about what you want, who you are. I never feel like you want to talk, so I keep filling in the gap. Too much, I realize.

[dead_tongue]

[Iggy smiles and squeezes Dick's fingers.]

I'm Ignatius Melville. I'm getting my masters in fine arts. I paint watercolour landscapes, and my favourite artist is Austin Osman Spare.

I'm a sex worker. I cam five days a week for two hours at least. I sugarbaby, sometimes, but I am pretty picky. I have a boyfriend who really doesn't seem super comfortable with my work, so I try not to talk about it. But it's a job I love, so that's a bit difficult sometimes.

I love the ocean. I love music. I drink. I do drugs. Sometimes I don't come home until the sun rises because I've been out all night dancing and partying. I love my life. I really do.

But sometimes I would get lonely. I got lucky and I met this pretty great guy, and he's socially awkward as fuck with me for some reason but that's okay because I'm socially awkward as fuck. But I'm not so sure he likes me for me. He says all the right things. His heart is huge. But he's very intense, and I feel like I'm always failing some weird boyfriend test he's administering. And I think... I dunno, maybe he sees me as some stray that needs rescuing, because he's really good at saving people.

I don't want saving.

[cohero]

[Dick's smile grows and he feels warm inside, like he finally understands things he's wanted to know for a while now. He hopes his answer is not defensive, but exactly right. Cause that's all he wants it to be. Talking between them. ]

I'm Dick Grayson. I used to say nothing, share nothing. Now I'm trying to figure out what to share, how to share it. I've been talking too much.

I'm still working on figuring out who I am right now. I'm Nightwing. I know that, but I gave up a large part of my family about six months ago. I feel lost, and lonely. I met a great guy and we had some nice sex. I had no idea how he felt about me because he was a sex worker. I don't meet sex workers cause that's what the guy who raised me did. I didn't get the life, and that's my bad. I didn't understand you, and when I thought I was trying, I only figured I messed up, and kept apologizing. I felt like i fail the boyfriend test, but that's because I never passed it.

I kept thinking that I wanted to respect you, because I don't know if you get respect from everyone. I don't want to save you. You don't need it, but I want to know you. I want to see if I can handle us. I- I'm not used to sharing. I never asked if you were going to keep having sex with other guys. I should have. I think I didn't want to ask at first, but I knew. I know. I'm still trying to figure it out.

I don't mind your cam work at all. I think that's great. I think you're sexy as fuck, and if you like it, then go for it. I don't want to feel like one of your sugar daddys if I buy you things, ask you to move in, or want to take you on a vacation. I don't know how to make it different. I think that's a me issue.

I do worry about you sometimes when you're out all night and wake up lost. That's the only thing that worries me. I can worry because i know this city kills people. I've seen the worst. Maybe that makes us difficult as a couple I don't know.

I do like you I like you more now that I know you. I've always loved that you're an artist and I want to see your stuff.

I love the ocean too. I want to walk along the shore with you if/when we make it. I do want to know about the ghost side of you too. It's not easy, and it makes you feel crazy. Maybe I could just hold you, make you coffee or listen to you rant. Whatever you want. I want to listen.

[dead_tongue]

[Iggy smiles, and it's as bright and natural as sunshine.]

Okay, see? See, we can do this.

I like it when you're not trying too hard, Dick. You don't have to try and guess what's going to make me happy, okay? You don't have to impress me. You can fuck up! Because I'm gonna fuck up. I'm gonna fuck up a lot!

[He leans in to kiss Dick, soft and quick, still smiling.]

I'm not sleeping with anyone, for the record.