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[batsymbol]

That's not what I meant.

( and he damn well knows dick knows that.

a slow turn of his head, he looks back to dick — looks at the way he lounges there on the couch in his bathrobe. he can almost feel the sudden tension there between them and it has him licking over his lips. glancing down. looking over his shoulder back to the bedroom for a moment before his gaze lands back on the other man there. )

You're upset.

[cohero]

I wasn't exactly sure, because I figured you knew for sure what was going on.

[Dick looks at Bruce, really looks at him and watches him puzzle over this completely not understanding where this went wrong. Taking a deep breath, Dick has to let go of his feelings and breathe through some, not all of what he's holding onto.

He flips off the TV and gets up. He walks up to Bruce and runs a hand up his chest, while placing the other on his cheek, looking him directly in the eyes.]

You're standing here, almost exactly as you got here. All dressed up, with some of your walls put back up. I could feel it when you came out of the shower. It was like you'd decided something. I don't know what, but I missed a step. Then instead of a bathrobe, you put all your clothes on and make fun of me for being naked still.

[He pauses and lets Bruce digest what he's saying and then finishes.]

I thought you were merely using the facilities. I washed up, changed the sheets, and waited for you. You wanted to go back to work. I could see it. Then you got dressed, that's why I asked if you were leaving. Alfred said hi? Who cares what Alfred's doing. He's not your keeper. You dont have to check in with him if you're having sex overnight. Damnit Bruce.

[batsymbol]

( for a moment, something within bruce twists up when dick goes and says that about alfred. no, he doesn't need to check in with him. but alfred is all he has. has had over the years. he'd almost lost him once. the way he'd flippantly told the man he wasn't his father when he had, for all intents and purposes been just that to and for him over the years. the way his eyes narrow some show that maybe dick shouldn't press on that issue too much, but. ultimately, he lets that go.

instead, his gaze drops. his thoughts spin. he takes in what dick is saying while simultaneously replaying everything over in his head. when it comes to work — to figuring things out that involve crimes and criminals, he almost always hits the nail on the head. when it comes to himself and whatever emotions he may or may not be letting himself feel... not always so good with that. largely due to his clunky way of handling them. mostly out of a deep-seated fear he can't ever shake.

but this is what he warned dick about. how he deserved someone better— how he was liable to hurt him without even realizing it. yet it's also why some part of him had told him to not let go even when bruce wanted him to. to push him— push at those walls when they started to go back up. because they always do, even with alfred sometimes and no, it's not fair that they need to push at him. it never is. but he needs it done sometimes. when he starts to sink back into his own personal shadows.

licking over his lips, he glances away. takes a moment to swallow. then looks back to dick there in front of him. )

That's— I didn't mean it like that.

( he's not sure what he's saying, so he ducks his head for a moment. furrows his brow. )

It's just routine.

( because this man has rarely broken his usual routine for a long time now. )

[cohero]

Today isn't routine. You're here with me, and I'm going to push and pull at you, because you want me to and because I want to.

[Leaning in, Dick slides his hand up Bruce's chest. They haven't gone completely backwards because Dick is here, holding Bruce, touching him like this. He's holding on and fingers move to encircle the nape of his neck, meeting the other set of fingers there. Dick pulls their lips together so that he can remind Bruce what this is, that this is anything but routine anymore.

Maybe it will be routine one day. Dick's and Bruce have started something new, and Dick knows that he'll get ticked off, and he'll be a brat about it, but he'll always come back to this. He's not leaving it, or giving up. He's too damn stubborn to. He would have given up on being a vigilante a long time ago if he wasn't so damn stubborn, but it's built into who he is as a person.

This is what he needs, he presses that much into their kiss, holding it longer than their simple little touches and brushes-- this kiss means something, and it's one of tongue and lips, tasting and teasing. Dick gives as he takes before breaking it.]

Well, now you can think about this, and why I changed back only into a bathrobe. I know it's not easy for you. I really do. I work non-stop, and so often I've neglected everyone, and everything around me. I forgot people existed and ruined every relationship I had with a woman before this. Then I died. Life is short, so fucking short. I don't want to spend every second on paperwork anymore. It's important, but so are kisses that leave you breathless.

[batsymbol]

( it's still surreal for him to think that dick had died. still something he can't entirely wrap his head around. not when he has him right here — can feel the warmth of his breath and his skin. even the beats of his heart when they're in bed, tangled in sheets. to think that heart had ever stopped beating... that it could again...

it fuels him to be better. for batman to be better. so that he can protect those he cares about and never have to lose anyone ever again. it's an impossible thing to try and achieve, part of him knows that. but he can't help it. he needs to try. do whatever he can to never have to feel that pain again. because he doesn't know if he'll be able to come back from it again if he does.

forgetting that people exist — forgetting that bruce wayne himself exists most days. he's guilty of that— still does that to alfred's dismay. the look of hope that touches the man's face whenever he thinks the boy he'd helped raised into a man might actually be that man for once instead of the vigilante skulking in the shadows he's chosen to be... as if there's more to him than simply being vengeance. even if he can't always see that. it's why he needs others around him. to remind him he's more than just batman.

he lets blue eyes fall shut. lets his head knock gently against dick's, brows touching. tries to ground himself here in this moment and the other's words. it's not easy for him. but... he's trying. )

If you die on me, I won't be able to come back.

( words he says softly before he finally opens his eyes. )

So don't.

[cohero]

[Dick's own death has fueled him to be better. It's pushed him to put so much aside for the sake of working on making Dick a better person. He wants to make deeper emotional connections, pushing away from the walls his mentor taught him to build. He was taught that those connections were weaknesses, but Dick finds them to be strengths, and strongholds in his life. He was taught not to speak, to keep his words to a minimum, but lack of communication has only taken away every good relationship he ever cultivated.

It made him selfish and utterly self-reliant. Dick let no one help him, he turned his back on everyone who ever reach out a hand. He robbed his own heart of all love-- and became jealous and bitter to the point of not even seeing one of his own Titans on the edge. They both suffered the same fate, but while Dick came back as Nightwing, Jason came back as Red Hood. The difference was stark. His mentor tried to kill himself and is still not back. It set the balance so out of wack that it shifted worlds.

Now Dick has Bruce, and sees him as a whole different person. He sees the whole picture, even if there are some similarities. He has already let himself grow attached, and it scares him as well. There's a man that he holds here in his arms, one that he doesn't know how to let go of. So when he hears those words...

Dick's fingers find the edge of that turtle neck and work their way inside it. This is why it was useless to put clothes on. Dick needs skin to touch. He's always been this person. Looking into those mesmerizing blue eyes, Dick nods.]

I won't if you don't. Cause I can't lose you either. I won't make it. You are already a part of me, Bruce.

[batsymbol]

( he wants to tell him how dangerous that might be. having him be a part of him. wants to tell him all the ways it could go sideways. could go wrong for both of them, but. he refrains. he refrains because he feels the other's touch there against his skin and he can't help but gently sink into it. sink into him. as he has over these past however many hours now it's been with each other.

eyes fall shut, a contemplative hum there on his lips. typical bruce. saying more than he ever really does with words. it's with looks, with body language, and the things he doesn't say that are his usual form of communication. sometimes, it's difficult. maddening, even. for him to not say the thing or things one wants to so desperately hear from him. other times, it's more than enough.

he noses at dick. lets a breath out. blue eyes fluttering open. dick holds to him — sneaks in underneath that turtleneck and bruce lets him as he stands there with him. arms at his sides. before he gently steals a kiss from dick's lips. slow. soft. sweet. things that bruce is so very capable of but most don't see because he doesn't let them. hand cradling the side of dick's face, the pad of his thumb brushes along his cheek and he noses him again. quiet. just standing there with him and letting himself be there. with him. )

[cohero]

[There's a tiny notion in Dick's head about food sitting outside the door, but it disappears when Bruce relaxes into his touch and lets go into this moment that they've given one another. There was enough said between them to broach dangerous territory in either of their lives. This was moving into a relationship of sorts, promises to never die, to never truly let go were things people said when they needed that other person in their life. Dick knew that on a level, and he knew that somewhere Bruce did too.

A bead of panic erupted in Dick's brain, but if Bruce could close his eyes to it and lean into this moment, that Dick had essentially created with his own words, then he could too. He was the one changing for the better, moving on to be this man that was more whole than the one who had come before his death. This was why he could do this, have this conversation, hold onto Bruce like this at all.

Lips meet lips, soft and sweet and Dick sighs out a long breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding and his fingers curl inward against soft skin, scraping against a scar somewhere in the middle, but Dick only thinks of it as character and beauty. His thumb releases from the rest of his fingers to trace over the little tiny thing, a gentle remark against Bruce's back.

He glances up and knows that their noses will brush, tender and soft, a sign of affection he doesn't ever want to give up. It's his lover's way of saying that this little rift is over and they are together still, and this here proves that whatever comes, this remains. right here, this moment. Dick closes his eyes, and remains right here in this moment too, because the words that he has to say are too real, too strong, and perhaps quiet is best, as well as the press of their bodies, their noses, and yes even a gentle lip for only a second. ]

[batsymbol]

( silence often comes with bruce. but this sort of silence is different. it's soft and gentle and intimate in ways he doesn't often allow with others, including himself. he needs it. just for a bit. to let himself sink into it and feel it for all that it is.

to say he thought this was where the day would end up when he agreed to stay longer than the night... it's a little surprising. dick, himself, is surprising to him and yet he can't entirely pull himself away from the other man. even if some part of him believes he should. it should be worrying that he can't. but some part of him wants to try. wants to see. wants to feel all this just a little more because of how starved he is for it deep down. so much so that it seems he's been in denial about it. will still be in denial. for as long as he can and simply hold softly to these moments he finds.

tilting his head back some, he eyes the other man. keeping that closeness. )

You want to take this off me?

( the turtleneck, he means. since dick keeps slipping his fingers under it. )

[cohero]

[It's all a semi-grand learning curve of sorts. Dick has been used to the taunting of his mentor. The one that has given him a sharp tongue and wit that he sports along with his Titans and the criminals he faces. It's fairly different from the darkened stoic nature of the still trapped Bruce, wrapped in the pain and need for retribution that he hasn't found release from yet. It's closer to the Dark Avenger that might one day choose to almost kill Jason rather than choose to slay the Joker who had tortured and murdered Jason Todd outright.

In the dark, Dick learns more and more about the multiverse and sees that his mentor is unique among so many. That even through the scars, Dick could have done so much worse. While he found prison a better place for his life for a while, it wasn't like being thrown into the ocean and forgotten. A little of that is recalled when he settles in this silence. He doesn't want Bruce to become any of those things.

Bringing a little of his own twist of hope and light can't always be a terrible thing. Surprise in the unexpected, for them both, Dick feels is warranted here, and he can't seem to want to let go. So he clings. There's a part of him that is equally starved for the same type of affection, the one that comes with the deeper knowledge of what it's like to be them, different, the same, to be found in the shadows at times. To know the need for vengeance and to have sought it with all their heart.

A curl of his lips sets up for the nod. ]

Yes, very much. It's a shame you even put it back on when you are so gorgeous beneath it.

[So many words he didn't need, but they tell the same story as the fingers that push and pull at the turtleneck. It covers so very much skin, the marks that Dick has left across the already scarred skin, the pale loveliness of the expanse that lays out before him. Dick immediately leans in and kisses over Bruce's heart and wraps his arms around the man, inhaling deeply the scent that can only be described as uniquely Bruce, a list too long to expound upon.]

Perfect.

[batsymbol]

( perfect. it's a strange word to be associated with him. it's not anything he thinks of himself to be. the closest he can get is better... to be better at all this, at being the batman, at doing whatever he can to help gotham. so when dick goes and uses that word — refers to him as such a thing, even in looks alone, he ducks his head, strands of dark damp hair falling in front of his face as he does. shy, almost, before he offers a quiet huff. licks over his lips. then looks back up to him. )

Should call you out for being a suck up.

( dryly said, but with the intent to tease, of course.

blue eyes look to the man there holding to him — sees the way he looks at him with his own eyes and it has bruce swallow some. glance away. take just a second or two to ground himself in his thoughts. )

You still wanting that food?

[cohero]

[There's a quick snort of a laugh and Dick rolls his eyes. Leave it to Bruce to have his mind take that pathway when Dick hadn't quite meant that at all. He wiggles his fingers lightly and presses his head into the firm chest in front of him shaking it.]

While your physique and chest are rather outstanding, and I'm extremely partial to them. I merely meant that the situation of you finally having your shirt off was perfect, as opposed to being covered. It was used in the colloquial sense if you will.

[Lifting his head, Dick pushes at those dark strands of embarrassed hair, and smiles at the face that had wondered if he was perfection. Dick now begins to think about it more, and lets his hand wander up and across Bruce's chest, tracing the lines of definition, and encircling nipples, thumbs sliding across the peaks briefly. A small sly smile sits on Dick's lips as he enjoys the touching -- all the way up and around the thickness of shoulders and outward until he frees Bruce and lands his hands back at the bat's trim waist.]

I have thought about the food, but I wonder what state I'll find you in when I return. Are you even hungry?

[batsymbol]

( the touches are soft. sweeping. allow him to be grounded in ways he never really has been before. it has him wonder if dick might become something— someone capable of doing that for him. grounding him when he so desperately needs it.

food being mentioned, he blinks those blue eyes of his. a curious look to dick's face. hint of something there. quiet but a little playful. )

Could be tempted to work up an appetite.

( his endurance and stamina are lot greater than most average people, but. there's certain areas he hasn't fully tested either and their lengths they can go. yet, even so, he knows he can go longer. last longer. because he's made himself more than capable of doing that. )

[cohero]

[Maybe Dick never thought of himself as the grounding presence in a relationship, but at this one maybe he could be. There's something here that he's not found before. It's been just under a day, the start to a new year and Dick realizes that it's truly the beginning to a new thing. He doesn't know how it will work between them, or what they will move together toward, but they already committed the sin of stating feelings.

There's a sinful look that takes over Dick's eyes at the mention of working up an appetite now that Bruce has lost his shirt. ]

Oh, any hints on how you wish to do that this time?

[Fingers move inward from Bruce's waist to flick open the belt at his waist, and then the button and undo the zipper. Clothes, such a waste of a naked body and one that Dick had been enjoying visualizing and touching. Get it clean only to mess it up. Dick liked the thought of that as well.]

[batsymbol]

( try as he might, he can't wipe the faint grin there touching his lips as dick's fingers move to his belt. then button. finally the zipper, tugging it down. they really should bring the food in at the very least, it can always be eaten later after all.

yet he doesn't make much of an effort to go and do so. doesn't even think to move, really. rather, he just stands there. close to dick. staring at him with those blue eyes of his. )

Starting to get the idea you prefer me without clothes.

( just a little. )

[cohero]

[At least the food is by the door, in an inner alcove that no one will fuck with. It'll be cold when they reach it, but Dick doesn't care about that. What's here in front of him is far more interesting. Dick slips his hand around the pants as he's done before, letting them loosen beneath his fingers.

This time, he slides his hands down the back of the waist and beyond whatever briefs-boxers or the sort that kept skin divided from pants and brings his hands tight to Bruce's ass, gripping it to bring him in closer. ]

I think for this party, I like you much better without clothing. You're fan-fucking-tastic without a stitch of clothing on. You have a beautiful body to look at, touch, taste. I enjoy every facet of it.

[This he means far more than a little and it's obvious with the eyes that he keeps on Bruce.]

[batsymbol]

( that laugh that leaves him is soft and a little shy. again, he's not exactly accustomed to these sorts of comments. still a bit of a recluse and not entirely having the Bruce Wayne persona down yet, playboy billionaire prince of gotham isn't yet a title he wears shamelessly.

one day, maybe. for now, just a touch socially inept.

he ducks his head. hair falling in front of his face. flicks it off to the side with a shake of his head when he lets himself look up to dick there in front of him. )

I think your master plan is to tire me out to the point of never wanting to leave.

( this apartment. this moment. him. could be any. could be all. always a mystery with bruce. )

[cohero]

[There's a bit of a sway in his motion, a movement of sorts that's not unlike a dance, but not really one either. Kissing along the underside of Bruce's chin, Dick slides to his neck and lower to move his mouth over his collar.]

It was your idea to work up an appetite. I'm only helping with that. I might enjoy wearing you out, I'm not ashamed of admitting that. My body likes yours. Alas, what shall I do. Do you want to take off your pants, or shall I.

[Finding him walking back toward the couch, he presses Bruce up against it and pushes his way between his thighs. There's a comfort now in the way they fit together. It'd all been so awkward at first, and Dick had felt no agency in his own right while they were together the first time.

This time, he has quite a bit more. He enjoys the fact they're both young males, and that they do fit nicely together. He doesn't feel the need to cut and worship Bruce because he's afraid that he'll never see him again.]

[batsymbol]

( it's strange to be so playful like this. yet here they are. doing just that with one another. how long will it last? a mystery not even bruce can find the answer to, but. for the moment, he doesn't try to. instead, he lets himself fall back against the couch, tugging dick down with him as he does. )

I think you should.

( words soft. low. feeling that sensation of heat slowly begin to flow through his veins. )

That way I get to watch.

[cohero]

[There's a bright laugh that happens when Dick gets pulled back onto the couch in what he feels is more like a flop over the edge than anything respectful. Laying across Bruce, Dick moves and settles so that they're at least comfortable, no elbows or knees in unkind places. ]

You think I should, hm? I can do this.

[Taking the pathway of most enjoyment, Dick begins to work his way down Bruce's body. It's a tapestry of artwork now that he's more familiar with it. He's spent the night combing over it with his fingers, and watching it move as they've laid together naked. Now his mouth knows where to kiss, sensitive spots, and scars alike. Long lingering kisses, and lazy laps of tongue. Dick offers a few more marks that will thrive for the next few days as well.

He spends his time enjoying dark circles, one on each side with his tongue, teeth and full mouth-- playing and teasing until he makes Bruce give up one of his little noises. Then he finally moves to kneeling between legs. Fingers work at the pants until they're caught on sharp hips. Dick's strength pulls them up, one side and then the other and works the pants off, it's the same with the things beneath the pants.

Both are laid neatly over the back of the couch until they are naked together. Bruce lowers himself and grins.]

Is this what you wanted, or did you want more.

[batsymbol]

( here they are again. the two of them. skin on skin, a heat felt between them. it's more than bruce has felt in an extremely long time, liable to overwhelm him at times and yet, for the moment, he sinks into it. sinks into the warmth dick gives to him and that he feels for dick throughout his body.

back on this couch though with far less clothing than they'd had the first time things had started— ah. that's certainly something to think about. here. right here. is where all of this started with a brush of lips and a kiss that lasted throughout the entire night. it's not necessarily a blur. he remembers all of it. the way dick felt, the way he sounded, the way he looked pushed over like he was, taking the toy before he took him. engraved across his mind, wondering if he might come to look back sadly on such a time.

it all started here and now they've found themselves here once again.

back pressing against the cushions of the couch, a sound leaves him. deep from the back of his throat and he smiles some up to the other man above him. )

You're asking me this as if I don't already know you want more.

( he's a detective after all. )

[cohero]

[The question was more about exactly what Bruce wanted this time. Dick remembers the first time. It was his first after all. It's burned into his memory, and while it wasn't the way he dreamed his first time might be-- there were moments that turned it around. There were moments where Bruce laid against his back and kissed him, moments where Dick will always remember that weight as their bodies moved together. He can't forget that. He will never forget the tight, warm, pressure that filled him to completion which came only by way of the man which he looks down upon now. They are one and the same, even if the atmosphere is so very different.

A shift has taken place somewhere and there's a language that's been taught and learned. This is where it started, but the night was very different when it started previously. It was hesitant and fraught with nerves, tight and full of unknown tensions. Now there's what lay in the present. It's softer, and nerves have been chased away, replaced by glances and huffs, brushes of hair and noses.

Nipping at Bruce's bottom lip, he sucks at it and then kisses over his neck with a hum of his own.]

I know you know that. The question is how do you want this time to go.

[Shifting his body, Dick's tongue circles a nipple and pulls it deep in his mouth, licking and plucking at it as he sucks over the entire thing before releasing it, to move across and do the same thing to the other side.]

[batsymbol]

( their first time had been a mishmash of nerves and personas that seem much more quieter now. the innate need to dominate and be in control from batman against dick's own need and want for the other man and to show how eager and willing he'd been to be and do whatever he wanted. maybe it'd been a little clunky in the beginning, but. they'd found their way eventually— bruce had found his way inside dick, and the end result had been the thing they had both been chasing after so desperately.

bruce feels a little more at ease now — less of a need to be on and more comfortable, in a sense, with being just like this with the other man. with dick. who seems to intent on memorizing every inch of him with only fingers but lips as well. that tongue draws a soft hum from the dark knight that could be almost mistaken for a moan. head pushed back, fingers blindly carding through similar dark strands of hair, blue eyes slipping shut. he replays the question over in his head a couple times before he finally looks down to him. )

Same as last time.

( he lets the words gently fall from his lips. )

Connected to you.

[cohero]

Here, or the bedroom.

[There's more room to sprawl out there, to maneuver, to open up and be with in the bedroom. While Dick is still open to everything and anything Bruce desires, he has a deep seated desire to watch Bruce this time. He has no wishes to be on his back. This time he wants to wrap his agile legs up high around the other male's back while Bruce pressed in deep and filled what was left of Dick. He wanted to be taken apart and put back together, with every part of Bruce's body.

Already the words Bruce speaks begin the process of undoing. Dick can feel his body growing hard and pressing in against the firm thigh below it. His own lashes flutter close, and he slides his fingers across a stomach he's come to know almost as well as the one that's attached to his own skin. The dips and outlines of muscles, and little ripples that waiver as he places pressure over them. The knife mark here, and dimpled mark of a bullet not quite taken there, he's learnt them all.

It's the same as his own. They wear protective armor that never quite does a complete job, but never once can they show it. It's not until they're in the shower back home do they look over the damage done, bandage themselves up and wonder what will leave a new mark and what won't. What will they wear forever, and what will leave with only a faint brush. ]

This one. I like this one, because I know that you had to have stood so stern when you took it, never flinching, but I know what it feels like. There's that initial punch of impact, almost shocking, but you don't feel the flesh tear, only the wetness that feels so much like water but it's thicker, and sticks as it begins to dry-- right as burn starts up, like a ring of fire curling inward. Then later there's more pain no matter what's been given, or what you refuse to take. It keeps you up, of course it does, because why would you sleep anyway and this is but one more excuse.

[Dick kisses it this time, and spends his time nurturing the mark with this mouth, feeling so seen as he does. No one else knows this as intimately as they do. That's why Bruce is the man allowed inside Dick's body when no other person will ever have that privilege.]

[batsymbol]

( there's something about the way dick lavishes him with such delicate attention that has his body feel as if it's on fire. it doesn't hurt. doesn't make him flinch or feel awkward about any of this. it's just... to think someone so eagerly wants to see and taste him like this. someone who knows how it is to be the way they are and doesn't need any explanation for it... it's not a thing he ever thought he would come across. he would ever find in his life with the cowl off. yet he finds it here. in dick. on the couch. and it's scary to think how it might feel to lose that. lose this. lose him.

it's why bruce still treads relatively gently with all this. apprehensive to an extent, as always. waiting for the other shoe to unexpectedly drop. he doesn't let it control his actions right now. doesn't let it reach for his clothes to pull them back on. he'd already let it do that earlier, after the shower and had been met with that look in dick's eyes when he had. one day, those eyes won't work on him. one day, he'll need to say no and leave. but that's not for right now. right now dick touches over scars few rarely ever see and none ever touch like dick himself is. )

Think you have everything we need in the bedroom.

( lube, he's mostly thinking of. unless dick has some stashed out here between the cushions which... that would certainly be a choice. granted, dick's a bachelor now and all, so. maybe he does. who is bruce to judge when it comes to someone's private or love life? )