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[cohero]

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[batsymbol]

( bruce goes to have a bit of an existential crisis in the bathroom as one does when they find they're at war with themselves. when they find themselves feeling almost guilty for taking a night off or indulging in something purely for them and that most don't even really seem to think twice about. being here like this — the hours he's spent at dick's place... how many suffered because he wasn't out lurking within the shadows? how many cases are being swept under the rug by a corrupt cop that he could have looked into himself? it never stops and it never ends and it never will so long as he walks this path. he doesn't even know if both bruce wayne and the batman can exist simultaneously, or if he's only fooling himself along with the rest of the world.

he indulges in another shower for himself. nothing long and not with the intention of washing his hair. simply as a means to try and wash away everything emotionally clinging to him at the moment. not to point of not feeling anything, but. disconnecting from everything that's causing him this little headache that comes with being the overthinker that he is. waits for it to metaphorically spiral down the drain before he's grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist and heading out after a few more minutes of looking after himself.

the towel hangs loose at his hips, fingers carding through wet strands of hair as he catches sight of dick there on the bed with his phone and he decides to do the same. reaching for it, he drops to the edge of it. checks a few things. sends off a message or two. )

You order something for yourself?

( to eat, he means, staring to his phone as he asks. )

[cohero]

[Unaware of the existential crisis that Bruce had in his bathroom, Dick did notice the sound of his shower running, so he figured that Bruce was doing a little clean up of his own, like Dick did. He didn't have anything against it, but there was a stray thought or two that wondered if Dick would meet the same Bruce coming out that had gone in. They were getting closer to having spent almost an entire day together and that would be incredibly relaxing for Dick if he wasn't always wondering if the person he was beginning to fall for was going to change his mind at any second.

One moment he was there in mind and body, and the next Dick could feel Bruce starting to pull away. That's why Dick had done what he did with his handjob. He knew that as the day wore on, Bruce would begin to pull. Dick also remembered that he was told to hold on, and push at the same time. Dick wasn't going to let go. He was determined and this relationship meant a hell of a lot more than getting off to him. It was about the way Bruce looked at him, the way they touched, and the little shocks of hair that fell this way and that when Bruce leaned over.

It was about how soft Bruce could be when he wanted to, when he wasn't thinking about all there was to worry about in the world. Dick knew that there was a start between them, and he wasn't going to let it go to waste, because there was a Bat within the man too. Taking a deep breath, Dick looked up from his phone when Bruce finally emerged from the bathroom. Dick immediately puts his phone away to give Bruce his attention. ]

I ordered us food, since it was your suggestion. Did you enjoy your shower? Feeling better?

[batsymbol]

( he's scrolling through various news outlets as he sits there on the bed because... of course he is. seeing if anything pings him — if anything's happened overnight while he's been here with dick. unable to completely silence the guilt he can feel nagging at him until he sees for himself that nothing really happened. that taking a night off isn't the end of the world for him.

it takes him a second to really hear what dick's asked, a blink of blue eyes as he looks over to the other man with confusion there on his face before it clicks. )

Yeah. I'm fine.

( slight shake of his head, he looks back to the phone he holds. brushes his thumb over the screen a couple more times before he locks it. runs a hand over his face, fingers pushing back through damp strands then. )

Alfred says hi.

( phone left on the bed, he stands. plucks his clothes off the floor and begins the task of getting himself dressed once he lets the towel drop down around his feet. )

[cohero]

[There's a drop in Dick's stomach that wraps around other things inside him. He can feel the walls as they go up. Dick closes his eyes and steals himself against what's happening. He'd expected it earlier, but it's okay. They made it as far as they could.

Laying there still naked in bed, Dick nods and watches as Bruce gets dressed. Dick takes a sip of the drink he brought back and watches all the perfect skin that he's marked and run his fingers over get covered inch by inch. They're done, just like that. Their little affair ended with a shower that Dick didn't even see coming.

Dick would have taken one more hug, one more press of their bodies together if he'd realized that had been it. ]

Are you leaving then?

[batsymbol]

( again, there's that confusion that touches his face, pulling the black turtleneck down over his shoulders. )

I thought we were eating.

( he says that matter of fact, eyeing the other man there on the bed as he reaches for his pants then, pulling them on over the tight black boxer-briefs he'd worn here last night. )

Or did you think I was going to eat naked?

( maybe he did? who's to say. he's not against the idea, just. it's the afternoon now, more or less, and in the odd event that dick suddenly gets random company? last thing anyone needs to see is the two of them lounging around naked, eating their... brunch? yeah, it's definitely brunch now. )

Unless answering the door in nothing at all is how you give your tips around here.

( he's teasing. obviously. even if his tone is dry as he says it while doing up the button there on his pants. )

[cohero]

[Obviously Bruce needs the long layers, and the black, because the bathrobes that they'd worn the night before when the food had been dropped at the door were unacceptable. They were hanging on the doors right behind him if he'd bothered to look, and that was actually what Dick had thought about wearing while they ate.

That's what couples did in hotels when they spent weekends there, wasn't it? At least in his experience it had been. Bruce probably wouldn't know, and maybe that's where Dick could have given him grace, but he was failing at being graceful in the moment. Maybe it was the turtleneck, whatever it was-- it irked Dick. He hadn't planned on seeing a fully dressed Bruce until it was time to leave.

No company was going to show up. Dick made sure of that, and if they did-- the elevator would ring his phone and he could turn them away before they even got near his apartment. He still employed the same type of security he did at the tower. ]

No, I didn't think you'd eat naked. I - there are other things to wear. Don't worry about it though, I obviously got it handled. I like answering the door nude.

[Running his fingers through his hair, Dick gets up and puts his robe on. he looks back at Bruce and rolls his eyes.]

You know me. I know how to get all the great tips. The women love it, always in my bed.

[There's a little more bite in his tone, because the tease didn't come off as funny when it was spoken dryly with Bruce standing there fully dressed and Dick naked as a jaybird (or a Robin/nightwing)-- it made him feel like a fool, and a tool. Leaving the room, Dick didn't even really have an excuse yet. The food wasn't there, but he didn't want to sit in the bedroom with Bruce fully dressed. He moved out to sit on the couch, legs crossed in front of him. He flipped on the TV, and began running through channels. ]

[batsymbol]

( something's happened that he both didn't expect and can't quite put his finger on. a shift of sorts that seems to gently catch him off guard. he's done something, he thinks. something he hasn't thought about that's either triggered or set off something inside the other man and he's left standing there. watching dick go and put his robe on.

hm.

the comments are met with silence — with a gentle blink of blue eyes as he watches dick leave the room. a slow glance down to his phone there left on the bed, he quietly rolls back the last three to five minutes in his head as he would the contact lenses he wears to catch everything that happens when he's out in the suit. replaying it over and over and over again on his computer. looking for anything he might have missed in the moment. shame he doesn't have that laptop here with him now as he has to solely rely on his memory alone. which, isn't terrible, but. a lot can happen so quickly and so quietly.

he wanders out after a moment. after taking some time to mull over what to do and stands there. near the couch. hands slipped in his pants pockets as he stares to dick. then the television. )

What is it?

[cohero]

[It would have honestly surprised Dick to know that Bruce had no idea what was going on, that he couldn't see or feel the same things that Dick did. Sitting there on the couch Dick finally found a viable show to watch a show about tattoo coverups that he thought stupid, funny, and interesting all at once. When Bruce came out, he figured that the other man was going to sit and watch it, but instead Dick is faced with a baffling question. One that he's really not quite sure how to answer.

Slowly, he turns in his space, arm around the back of the leather couch to look over at Bruce. He's very much the same man that came into his apartment an evening prior, even his hands were shoved into his pockets. Dick swears he can feel the wall between them again. All that was missing was the coat and scarf. Dick almost mentioned it, but he bit his tongue. Instead he ignores it for right now.]

It's a tattoo show about bad tattoos that they cover up. You going to stand or sit, or pace?

[batsymbol]

That's not what I meant.

( and he damn well knows dick knows that.

a slow turn of his head, he looks back to dick — looks at the way he lounges there on the couch in his bathrobe. he can almost feel the sudden tension there between them and it has him licking over his lips. glancing down. looking over his shoulder back to the bedroom for a moment before his gaze lands back on the other man there. )

You're upset.

[cohero]

I wasn't exactly sure, because I figured you knew for sure what was going on.

[Dick looks at Bruce, really looks at him and watches him puzzle over this completely not understanding where this went wrong. Taking a deep breath, Dick has to let go of his feelings and breathe through some, not all of what he's holding onto.

He flips off the TV and gets up. He walks up to Bruce and runs a hand up his chest, while placing the other on his cheek, looking him directly in the eyes.]

You're standing here, almost exactly as you got here. All dressed up, with some of your walls put back up. I could feel it when you came out of the shower. It was like you'd decided something. I don't know what, but I missed a step. Then instead of a bathrobe, you put all your clothes on and make fun of me for being naked still.

[He pauses and lets Bruce digest what he's saying and then finishes.]

I thought you were merely using the facilities. I washed up, changed the sheets, and waited for you. You wanted to go back to work. I could see it. Then you got dressed, that's why I asked if you were leaving. Alfred said hi? Who cares what Alfred's doing. He's not your keeper. You dont have to check in with him if you're having sex overnight. Damnit Bruce.

[batsymbol]

( for a moment, something within bruce twists up when dick goes and says that about alfred. no, he doesn't need to check in with him. but alfred is all he has. has had over the years. he'd almost lost him once. the way he'd flippantly told the man he wasn't his father when he had, for all intents and purposes been just that to and for him over the years. the way his eyes narrow some show that maybe dick shouldn't press on that issue too much, but. ultimately, he lets that go.

instead, his gaze drops. his thoughts spin. he takes in what dick is saying while simultaneously replaying everything over in his head. when it comes to work — to figuring things out that involve crimes and criminals, he almost always hits the nail on the head. when it comes to himself and whatever emotions he may or may not be letting himself feel... not always so good with that. largely due to his clunky way of handling them. mostly out of a deep-seated fear he can't ever shake.

but this is what he warned dick about. how he deserved someone better— how he was liable to hurt him without even realizing it. yet it's also why some part of him had told him to not let go even when bruce wanted him to. to push him— push at those walls when they started to go back up. because they always do, even with alfred sometimes and no, it's not fair that they need to push at him. it never is. but he needs it done sometimes. when he starts to sink back into his own personal shadows.

licking over his lips, he glances away. takes a moment to swallow. then looks back to dick there in front of him. )

That's— I didn't mean it like that.

( he's not sure what he's saying, so he ducks his head for a moment. furrows his brow. )

It's just routine.

( because this man has rarely broken his usual routine for a long time now. )

[cohero]

Today isn't routine. You're here with me, and I'm going to push and pull at you, because you want me to and because I want to.

[Leaning in, Dick slides his hand up Bruce's chest. They haven't gone completely backwards because Dick is here, holding Bruce, touching him like this. He's holding on and fingers move to encircle the nape of his neck, meeting the other set of fingers there. Dick pulls their lips together so that he can remind Bruce what this is, that this is anything but routine anymore.

Maybe it will be routine one day. Dick's and Bruce have started something new, and Dick knows that he'll get ticked off, and he'll be a brat about it, but he'll always come back to this. He's not leaving it, or giving up. He's too damn stubborn to. He would have given up on being a vigilante a long time ago if he wasn't so damn stubborn, but it's built into who he is as a person.

This is what he needs, he presses that much into their kiss, holding it longer than their simple little touches and brushes-- this kiss means something, and it's one of tongue and lips, tasting and teasing. Dick gives as he takes before breaking it.]

Well, now you can think about this, and why I changed back only into a bathrobe. I know it's not easy for you. I really do. I work non-stop, and so often I've neglected everyone, and everything around me. I forgot people existed and ruined every relationship I had with a woman before this. Then I died. Life is short, so fucking short. I don't want to spend every second on paperwork anymore. It's important, but so are kisses that leave you breathless.

[batsymbol]

( it's still surreal for him to think that dick had died. still something he can't entirely wrap his head around. not when he has him right here — can feel the warmth of his breath and his skin. even the beats of his heart when they're in bed, tangled in sheets. to think that heart had ever stopped beating... that it could again...

it fuels him to be better. for batman to be better. so that he can protect those he cares about and never have to lose anyone ever again. it's an impossible thing to try and achieve, part of him knows that. but he can't help it. he needs to try. do whatever he can to never have to feel that pain again. because he doesn't know if he'll be able to come back from it again if he does.

forgetting that people exist — forgetting that bruce wayne himself exists most days. he's guilty of that— still does that to alfred's dismay. the look of hope that touches the man's face whenever he thinks the boy he'd helped raised into a man might actually be that man for once instead of the vigilante skulking in the shadows he's chosen to be... as if there's more to him than simply being vengeance. even if he can't always see that. it's why he needs others around him. to remind him he's more than just batman.

he lets blue eyes fall shut. lets his head knock gently against dick's, brows touching. tries to ground himself here in this moment and the other's words. it's not easy for him. but... he's trying. )

If you die on me, I won't be able to come back.

( words he says softly before he finally opens his eyes. )

So don't.

[cohero]

[Dick's own death has fueled him to be better. It's pushed him to put so much aside for the sake of working on making Dick a better person. He wants to make deeper emotional connections, pushing away from the walls his mentor taught him to build. He was taught that those connections were weaknesses, but Dick finds them to be strengths, and strongholds in his life. He was taught not to speak, to keep his words to a minimum, but lack of communication has only taken away every good relationship he ever cultivated.

It made him selfish and utterly self-reliant. Dick let no one help him, he turned his back on everyone who ever reach out a hand. He robbed his own heart of all love-- and became jealous and bitter to the point of not even seeing one of his own Titans on the edge. They both suffered the same fate, but while Dick came back as Nightwing, Jason came back as Red Hood. The difference was stark. His mentor tried to kill himself and is still not back. It set the balance so out of wack that it shifted worlds.

Now Dick has Bruce, and sees him as a whole different person. He sees the whole picture, even if there are some similarities. He has already let himself grow attached, and it scares him as well. There's a man that he holds here in his arms, one that he doesn't know how to let go of. So when he hears those words...

Dick's fingers find the edge of that turtle neck and work their way inside it. This is why it was useless to put clothes on. Dick needs skin to touch. He's always been this person. Looking into those mesmerizing blue eyes, Dick nods.]

I won't if you don't. Cause I can't lose you either. I won't make it. You are already a part of me, Bruce.

[batsymbol]

( he wants to tell him how dangerous that might be. having him be a part of him. wants to tell him all the ways it could go sideways. could go wrong for both of them, but. he refrains. he refrains because he feels the other's touch there against his skin and he can't help but gently sink into it. sink into him. as he has over these past however many hours now it's been with each other.

eyes fall shut, a contemplative hum there on his lips. typical bruce. saying more than he ever really does with words. it's with looks, with body language, and the things he doesn't say that are his usual form of communication. sometimes, it's difficult. maddening, even. for him to not say the thing or things one wants to so desperately hear from him. other times, it's more than enough.

he noses at dick. lets a breath out. blue eyes fluttering open. dick holds to him — sneaks in underneath that turtleneck and bruce lets him as he stands there with him. arms at his sides. before he gently steals a kiss from dick's lips. slow. soft. sweet. things that bruce is so very capable of but most don't see because he doesn't let them. hand cradling the side of dick's face, the pad of his thumb brushes along his cheek and he noses him again. quiet. just standing there with him and letting himself be there. with him. )

[cohero]

[There's a tiny notion in Dick's head about food sitting outside the door, but it disappears when Bruce relaxes into his touch and lets go into this moment that they've given one another. There was enough said between them to broach dangerous territory in either of their lives. This was moving into a relationship of sorts, promises to never die, to never truly let go were things people said when they needed that other person in their life. Dick knew that on a level, and he knew that somewhere Bruce did too.

A bead of panic erupted in Dick's brain, but if Bruce could close his eyes to it and lean into this moment, that Dick had essentially created with his own words, then he could too. He was the one changing for the better, moving on to be this man that was more whole than the one who had come before his death. This was why he could do this, have this conversation, hold onto Bruce like this at all.

Lips meet lips, soft and sweet and Dick sighs out a long breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding and his fingers curl inward against soft skin, scraping against a scar somewhere in the middle, but Dick only thinks of it as character and beauty. His thumb releases from the rest of his fingers to trace over the little tiny thing, a gentle remark against Bruce's back.

He glances up and knows that their noses will brush, tender and soft, a sign of affection he doesn't ever want to give up. It's his lover's way of saying that this little rift is over and they are together still, and this here proves that whatever comes, this remains. right here, this moment. Dick closes his eyes, and remains right here in this moment too, because the words that he has to say are too real, too strong, and perhaps quiet is best, as well as the press of their bodies, their noses, and yes even a gentle lip for only a second. ]

[batsymbol]

( silence often comes with bruce. but this sort of silence is different. it's soft and gentle and intimate in ways he doesn't often allow with others, including himself. he needs it. just for a bit. to let himself sink into it and feel it for all that it is.

to say he thought this was where the day would end up when he agreed to stay longer than the night... it's a little surprising. dick, himself, is surprising to him and yet he can't entirely pull himself away from the other man. even if some part of him believes he should. it should be worrying that he can't. but some part of him wants to try. wants to see. wants to feel all this just a little more because of how starved he is for it deep down. so much so that it seems he's been in denial about it. will still be in denial. for as long as he can and simply hold softly to these moments he finds.

tilting his head back some, he eyes the other man. keeping that closeness. )

You want to take this off me?

( the turtleneck, he means. since dick keeps slipping his fingers under it. )

[cohero]

[It's all a semi-grand learning curve of sorts. Dick has been used to the taunting of his mentor. The one that has given him a sharp tongue and wit that he sports along with his Titans and the criminals he faces. It's fairly different from the darkened stoic nature of the still trapped Bruce, wrapped in the pain and need for retribution that he hasn't found release from yet. It's closer to the Dark Avenger that might one day choose to almost kill Jason rather than choose to slay the Joker who had tortured and murdered Jason Todd outright.

In the dark, Dick learns more and more about the multiverse and sees that his mentor is unique among so many. That even through the scars, Dick could have done so much worse. While he found prison a better place for his life for a while, it wasn't like being thrown into the ocean and forgotten. A little of that is recalled when he settles in this silence. He doesn't want Bruce to become any of those things.

Bringing a little of his own twist of hope and light can't always be a terrible thing. Surprise in the unexpected, for them both, Dick feels is warranted here, and he can't seem to want to let go. So he clings. There's a part of him that is equally starved for the same type of affection, the one that comes with the deeper knowledge of what it's like to be them, different, the same, to be found in the shadows at times. To know the need for vengeance and to have sought it with all their heart.

A curl of his lips sets up for the nod. ]

Yes, very much. It's a shame you even put it back on when you are so gorgeous beneath it.

[So many words he didn't need, but they tell the same story as the fingers that push and pull at the turtleneck. It covers so very much skin, the marks that Dick has left across the already scarred skin, the pale loveliness of the expanse that lays out before him. Dick immediately leans in and kisses over Bruce's heart and wraps his arms around the man, inhaling deeply the scent that can only be described as uniquely Bruce, a list too long to expound upon.]

Perfect.

[batsymbol]

( perfect. it's a strange word to be associated with him. it's not anything he thinks of himself to be. the closest he can get is better... to be better at all this, at being the batman, at doing whatever he can to help gotham. so when dick goes and uses that word — refers to him as such a thing, even in looks alone, he ducks his head, strands of dark damp hair falling in front of his face as he does. shy, almost, before he offers a quiet huff. licks over his lips. then looks back up to him. )

Should call you out for being a suck up.

( dryly said, but with the intent to tease, of course.

blue eyes look to the man there holding to him — sees the way he looks at him with his own eyes and it has bruce swallow some. glance away. take just a second or two to ground himself in his thoughts. )

You still wanting that food?

[cohero]

[There's a quick snort of a laugh and Dick rolls his eyes. Leave it to Bruce to have his mind take that pathway when Dick hadn't quite meant that at all. He wiggles his fingers lightly and presses his head into the firm chest in front of him shaking it.]

While your physique and chest are rather outstanding, and I'm extremely partial to them. I merely meant that the situation of you finally having your shirt off was perfect, as opposed to being covered. It was used in the colloquial sense if you will.

[Lifting his head, Dick pushes at those dark strands of embarrassed hair, and smiles at the face that had wondered if he was perfection. Dick now begins to think about it more, and lets his hand wander up and across Bruce's chest, tracing the lines of definition, and encircling nipples, thumbs sliding across the peaks briefly. A small sly smile sits on Dick's lips as he enjoys the touching -- all the way up and around the thickness of shoulders and outward until he frees Bruce and lands his hands back at the bat's trim waist.]

I have thought about the food, but I wonder what state I'll find you in when I return. Are you even hungry?

[batsymbol]

( the touches are soft. sweeping. allow him to be grounded in ways he never really has been before. it has him wonder if dick might become something— someone capable of doing that for him. grounding him when he so desperately needs it.

food being mentioned, he blinks those blue eyes of his. a curious look to dick's face. hint of something there. quiet but a little playful. )

Could be tempted to work up an appetite.

( his endurance and stamina are lot greater than most average people, but. there's certain areas he hasn't fully tested either and their lengths they can go. yet, even so, he knows he can go longer. last longer. because he's made himself more than capable of doing that. )

[cohero]

[Maybe Dick never thought of himself as the grounding presence in a relationship, but at this one maybe he could be. There's something here that he's not found before. It's been just under a day, the start to a new year and Dick realizes that it's truly the beginning to a new thing. He doesn't know how it will work between them, or what they will move together toward, but they already committed the sin of stating feelings.

There's a sinful look that takes over Dick's eyes at the mention of working up an appetite now that Bruce has lost his shirt. ]

Oh, any hints on how you wish to do that this time?

[Fingers move inward from Bruce's waist to flick open the belt at his waist, and then the button and undo the zipper. Clothes, such a waste of a naked body and one that Dick had been enjoying visualizing and touching. Get it clean only to mess it up. Dick liked the thought of that as well.]

[batsymbol]

( try as he might, he can't wipe the faint grin there touching his lips as dick's fingers move to his belt. then button. finally the zipper, tugging it down. they really should bring the food in at the very least, it can always be eaten later after all.

yet he doesn't make much of an effort to go and do so. doesn't even think to move, really. rather, he just stands there. close to dick. staring at him with those blue eyes of his. )

Starting to get the idea you prefer me without clothes.

( just a little. )

[cohero]

[At least the food is by the door, in an inner alcove that no one will fuck with. It'll be cold when they reach it, but Dick doesn't care about that. What's here in front of him is far more interesting. Dick slips his hand around the pants as he's done before, letting them loosen beneath his fingers.

This time, he slides his hands down the back of the waist and beyond whatever briefs-boxers or the sort that kept skin divided from pants and brings his hands tight to Bruce's ass, gripping it to bring him in closer. ]

I think for this party, I like you much better without clothing. You're fan-fucking-tastic without a stitch of clothing on. You have a beautiful body to look at, touch, taste. I enjoy every facet of it.

[This he means far more than a little and it's obvious with the eyes that he keeps on Bruce.]

[batsymbol]

( that laugh that leaves him is soft and a little shy. again, he's not exactly accustomed to these sorts of comments. still a bit of a recluse and not entirely having the Bruce Wayne persona down yet, playboy billionaire prince of gotham isn't yet a title he wears shamelessly.

one day, maybe. for now, just a touch socially inept.

he ducks his head. hair falling in front of his face. flicks it off to the side with a shake of his head when he lets himself look up to dick there in front of him. )

I think your master plan is to tire me out to the point of never wanting to leave.

( this apartment. this moment. him. could be any. could be all. always a mystery with bruce. )