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[cohero]

I.. am not... okay, maybe occasionally I am somewhat... vague, if that's what you call sneaky.

[He's sneaky all day long, and knows it. He glances back and forth between his hand and Iggy, hoping that this is helping some with the congestion. Going quiet for a little bit, Dick considers his words. Thinking about what weird might mean, and how it might be. ]

I don't make assumptions, because that makes me an ass. I know enough about that. I may have done that by accident, but in general I'm not one to do that. I'm someone who will spell something out when it comes down to it. I don't know how I would be any different than I am now, but I imagine I understand what you might think. It's okay, I get it. I do, even if I don't always like it. I get it.

[dead_tongue]

...Dick. [Yeah, he's not having it.] You're the sneakiest person I have ever met.

[Snort.] Alright, Mr. All-My-Relationships-Ended-Badly-But-I-Won't-Say-Why.

No, I don't think you understand at all. Dick, if I gave up all my clients and went exclusive with you, you honestly don't think that you would get more possessive?

[cohero]

Why, because I looked you up online? In this day and age, that is not sneaky. Plus, you run an online business. Listen, a lot of shitty people have tried to actually kill me. You did hear me when I said that I have died and come back to life. You don't think I might be a little paranoid?

[He takes a breath. He's part of a multi-billion dollar inheritence and people send all sorts of weird shit his way. All sorts of strange people look him up and try to get into his circle. Plus, there's the enemies he has as Nitewing. He has to screen the people in his life. At least he was honest about it. Taking a beat, he sits up and blows out a breath.]

Lets see, my last relationship ended when a kid was killed in front of me and I couldn't stop it. I hid things from her because I wanted to fix all the problems and thought I could. I'm sure I was probably part of the reason he died and she got really pissed about it. Oh, sorry. The last, last one, just recently, I broke up with her because it wasn't as mutual as it should have been. She had a greater responsibility and life to lead than ending up with me. Before that? God, Fuck. I tried to fix something that went wrong and some shit came down really bad. People got hurt and it didn't work out after. Her and I were toxic together, we did things that weren't good for either of us. There, hows that?

[He gets up and starts pacing, because of all the guilt that sits deep in his stomach. He's worked so hard to move beyond it all. There's so much that he feels like is his fault. So fucking much. He's been working to be better, to do better, but he can't fix everything. ]

You wouldn't go exclusive with me. I'm saying that I know that, and I wouldn't have a reason to be possessive if you were. That would make no sense. If you were mine, why would I be possessive? But, that's a moot point. I understand it. Okay.

[dead_tongue]

No, because you didn't tell me and feigned ignorance. "Oh, what job is that, Iggy?" Thbbbt. [Yes, he just blew a raspberry.

But he does shut up and listen, at least.]

Don't get defensive, you're the one who told me all your relationships go to shit. But that first one is rough.

[Iggy watches, nonplussed.]

Because people sometimes get possessive of their partners. You might decide, well, he's mine now, I can control what he does, who he sees. You'd control my finances.

I don't know what the hell you want from me, Dick. I thought things were, you know, casual. But then you admit to knowing stuff about me that I did not tell you, and you offer up your mouth virginity - I'm still reeling from that, not even gonna lie - like it's some normal apology, and then subtly shade my sugar daddies, and then get all... emo. All of this while I feel like ass.

[cohero]

You've got several jobs. I'm sorry, okay.

[Dick goes to sit, and feels bad again for the upteenth time tonight. He's really batting a thousand. He knows that he's got to figure out how to handle this better, to come to terms with things and that it would be much better if he did it while Iggy was feeling more himself, and not like crap. Reaching out, he runs fingers along Iggy's face.]

I know, I need to be more up front and I will be better at that. I do have a few other things that I haven't told you yet, but right now they aren't completely my secrets to tell. They don't involve you though.

[rolling his lips together, he tips his head to the side and thinks about it, really thinks about it.]

I mean, I may have thought about what it would be like if we were together, but for the most part I tried not to. Yes, I get jealous of you actually having sex with other people occasionally, because I do like you, and if this was a normal relationship, I would have asked you out by now. I've had beautiful women, independent women who have careers in all sorts of businesses on my arm. If I trust someone, then I trust them. I would never be so petty as to hold onto money like that. You would have agency over whatever money you wanted. [this is a part that's uncomfortable, because paying someone to date him seems odd.]

You and your cam business would still be booming, and you could turn a wing of my place into a studio if you wanted, or you could still live here if you wished. It's all up to you. I don't own people. I have never had the taste for it. [a small laugh]

As for giving you a blow job. I shouldn't have said it the way I did... I'm curious okay. I want to taste you eventually. I want to put my mouth around you, and only you. I've wanted to for a few weeks. I thought it might make a good I'm sorry, kind of like make up sex. It came out all wrong, but hey, I did my best. I'm not emo though. I'm worried about you feeling sick. I want you better.

[dead_tongue]

Oh, jesus. That sounds promising.

Easy for you to say, you know. You're not at the mercy of other people, you're richer than god. But, alright. No, you probably wouldn't be that petty, I can accept that. You still make me nervous.

...you'd make me a studio? A whole studio, really?

[He snickers quietly.] Bitch, you're so emo. But thanks. And it's not like... bad, I'm not like, ew gross don't offer that. I just was so blindsided, it had all these heavy implications.

[cohero]

[That makes him laugh, cause he knows it sounds pretty damn ominous. Still, he's trying to be better about telling the truth here and he can't come right out and say he's fucking nightwing yet. So, he did the next best thing. Not that there aren't ghosts around that would love to rat him out. Probably. ]

I'm only saying this because you brought it up. Yes, I would like being with you, but I'm not going to push you. You know that, right? ...and I think if you tried me out, I'd make you less nervous. [he shrugs]

Sure, a studio, why not. I've got a training room for my martial arts. I could use part of that and the room next to it to convert. It wouldn't be hard. You'd need your own space. You know, if you weren't so sick, you'd be getting a blowjob right now and I don't think there are all that many heavy implications. I mean, it's not like I'm giving you my ass virginity.

[dead_tongue]

Yeah? Hm.

[He has to sit there and think about that. A whole studio. He wouldn't have to use the university's and fight for booking time...]

...are you saying you've taken it in the ass but never a shot in the mouth?

[cohero]

It's not like you have to decide anything right now. You're sick as a dog, and this wasn't in the cards for today. You didn't even get to touch my ass.

[He teases, and nuzzles the side of Iggy's face. He doesn't care about getting sick. He's feeling a grand mix of things that he doesn't know what to do with right now. Today has run the gambit of emotions, and he'd rather take his foot off that particular gas pedal.]

No. That's not what I'm saying. I said, it's not like I'm giving you my ass virginity. If you want that information, I've had fingers there but nothing larger. Not yet at least. I'm not opposed, but it's never come up. Three guys Ig. That's it.

[here's that shrug again. He's never hid this, or thought about it as being anything to be a big deal. His sexuality is what it is. bi with female leanings for the most part, except right now he's really enjoying exploring this new thing with Iggy. ]

[dead_tongue]

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be honest - never felt less sexy in my life.

[Okay, it's nice to be nuzzled. He relaxes a little more.]

Right, sorry. Three.

I forget not everyone on the planet is like... turbo-bottom.

[cohero]

You're still sexy to me, even as sick as you are. You are gorgeous.

[Yeah, the nuzzling is nice. It relaxes them both. It's being close. ]

You're not a turbo-bottom. You're just you. I mean, I've been with plenty of women. I'd never judge you for being with a lot of guys. Sex is touch, it's a way to feel and to not feel at times. It's useful for a lot of reasons.

[dead_tongue]

...thanks. [Ah, fine. That gets a smile.]

I kinda am, though. I'm not ashamed of it. I just meant like, I was shoving stuff up my ass by fifteen.

[cohero]

[What, it's true. He's still got the eyes and the face that Dick can't help but adore. He loves the body too- a lot, but it's not drew Dick's attention right away.]

Oh, Yeah. I was watching a shit ton of porn by then. Man, Alfred kept trying to walk in on me, thank god for locked doors. I didn't think about sticking things up my ass, but I stuck my dick in a lot of things, a lot of girls. I didn't think about guys really until much later. I guess my friend after college was the first I experimented with, handjobs that turned into more. Then, Dawn, she loved sticking fingers in my ass during blowjobs. I loved the feeling of it too.

[He chuckles, and smiles. ] Then Hank and he and I messed around only once after a fight. It was really strange, cause he was with my ex-Dawn at the time. So, yeah. That's my history. But, women are a different story. I like how you bottom for me. You're so fucking sexy.

[dead_tongue]

That's so awkward. But I got you beat: I used my mom's credit card to order sex toys.

He cheated on her with you? How scandalous!

Well. You know. Professional. [But he can't help but sound a little pleased.]

[cohero]

[He grins and nuzzles him again, because he'd kiss Iggy, but - well, sick. ] You're so cute. I love that you did that. I used Bruce's money for all sorts of crazy stuff growing up. I wasn't exactly an easy ward and yes, he cheated on her with me. It was really spur of the moment, heat of the moment. I had no idea that he even was into guys at all. I think we surprised each other.

[Thinking back, it was pretty hot. Dick licks his lips. That heat right after a fight, a battle. God, he's always so worked up after a fight. Covered in blood, body aching, sometimes he wishes he could bend someone over right there. Those are things he really hasn't talked about with anyone, but he imagines that he might with Iggy one day.]

Yeah, I know, but when you're with me, you're mine in the moment and I don't think about anything or anyone else, and I doubt that you do either. I hope you don't. [he makes a face.]

[dead_tongue]

Yeah? Mom was less impressed.

Huh. Sounds messy. Did she ever find out?

[He endeavors to look demure.] Maaaaaaaaybe I don't. Maaaaaaaybe I do.

[cohero]

What do moms know about a guys needs? I mean, I honestly don't have a clue since I didn't have a mom growing up. [He shrugs, pretty damn clueless.]

No, no way. He and I never mentioned a word of it after it happened. It was a one time thing never to be spoken of again. I don't think we even looked sideways at one another after that.

[lifts his head a little higher and looks Iggy straight on, hovering close to him with a look] You know you don't want to tease me like that when you can't back yourself up, or take the punishment. I am possessive during sex, that you very well know and I've never hid that. I'll get my knife out and carve a mark on you. [He teases, lifting a brow with a small laugh.]

[dead_tongue]

I mean, I did steal it. Sorry about your parents, though. You know they still cared about you, right?

That's so shitty of you guys. Shitty of him for cheating, shitty of you for going along with it.

[Iggy looks back, smile a little nervous.] ...that's actually really scary, Dick. I am ninety percent sure you're kidding, but.

[cohero]

I know, and I bet she must have thrown a fit at the bill. What toys did you get anyways?

It was shitty of us. It's the only time I ever was involved in voluntary cheating. I'm not normally that person. I mean, I may have met someone at the bar and not known, but [he shrugs. it was that heat of the fight thing, and being with a guy. Dick was probably more male leaning than he let on, and when it happened he didn't know how to say no at the time. He felt like shit for a long time, but he's working on being better now.]

I'm kidding, I promise. I mean, knives may be sexy, but I'd never carve my initials in someone. It was a joke. You can relax. I've never even messed around with any of that. The most I've done is left a really dark hickey.

[dead_tongue]

Okay, good. Because, yeah. I can't imagine they wouldn't have been watching you.
Oh, a dildo. [A grin.] I refused to use a household object.

At least you know it.

How are knives sexy? Legit question, not being sarcastic.

[cohero]

That's nothing too shocking. I was wondering if little you was adventurous. I had a person they called The Playboy as my mentor, and he always had a different woman on his arm. I don't know if anyone was really shocked when I got excited over Wonder Woman early on.

[Plus his best friend was Donna Troy and they always compared notes about their mentors. It was easy to think about both of them that way when he was younger. ]

Like cars are sexy, knives are sexy. Things I enjoy. I mean, I like close combat weapons, several kinds. [he shrugs, nudging the conversation away from where it had been because digging into any of his darker urges or desires isn't a place he likes to go, doesn't trust himself to go with anyone. ]

[dead_tongue]

Little me was hella gay, that's what he was.

I don't really pay attention to superheroes. They're all kinda weird. Except maybe Superman, he seems okay.

Mmm. It's very serial killer-y sounding, that's all I'm saying.

[cohero]

Hey, at least you knew exactly what you were and owned it. I had plenty of identity problems growing up. Trying to be my own person wasn't always easy. Bruce had an idea of who he wanted me to be, and by the time I realized that I didn't want to be exactly that, it... got messy.

[a small way of putting exactly what happened. Dick gets up and takes the empty soup container and juice to the kitchen, coming back with some water a bit of lemon he found squeezed in for a touch of vitamin C, and recools the cloth that he had on Iggy's forehead.]

Superman is a busy guy. Wonder Woman is hot, what can i say. I like the idea of a dominant woman. [Dick laughs. ]

I promise, I'm not a serial killer. There are plenty of people who collect weapons. Ebay is full of them. I do martial arts, and practice my old acrobat skills as a part of it. It keeps me in shape and I enjoy it. They all go with the territory. Every ninja has to have their weapons. [he grins wide, and playfully flips his finger down iggy's nose.]

[dead_tongue]

...I understand that. More than you know.

[He stays put, murmuring a thanks when Dick returns.]

That's not surprising.

Yeah, and they don't go, "knives are hot!" [Not grumbled with any real bite, though. He even almost smiles.]

[cohero]

I imagine we all struggle with who we are supposed to be...

[It puts him into thought for a quiet little bit after he's back. He lets his eyes roam over Iggy, enjoying the sight before him. Hoping that he's feeling a little on the mend, even if tonight's discussion has been awkward as fuck.]

How do you know they don't think knives are hot. Fine, it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm bringing them into our bedroom. I haven't brought in any toys, yet. I'm about what you like, anyways. [he's got a small smile on his face too, because he means it. Dick is very much about pleasing the person he's with in bed.]