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[reneger]

( the door breaks right off it's hinges, which jason feels a little bad about, but, hey, if he can't be dramatic then what's the point? as soon as he's got the bar's attention turned towards him, he's rolling his shoulders back and shoving his hands into his pockets. walking with a hard-on? uncomfortable, especially given the damn cup. but he makes it look easy, sauntering his way back out into the crowd with a limp that's only noticeable if you're really paying attention to his gait. most people don't, they pay attention to the bat on his chest, the hood, which is what he's aiming for here.

a quick stop by the bar, and jason pulls out a brown leather wallet. it doesn't carry any form of ID in it, but plenty of cash and a few black cards without visible names. not that the names programmed into the cards are real anyway, but keeping up the aesthetic is important. he doesn't go for the cards, but instead reaches for the cash. pulls out a few large bills and sets them down on the bar on his way past. )

For the mess. Call me if they give you any shit again, Sandra. This's Red Hood turf. ( the last bit's said loud enough to make sure everyone damn well knows it. he doesn't wait for sandra's response and intentionally rams his shoulder into a few hooligans on his way to the front door. making a scene on his way back out to his bike. it's red, loud, hard to miss because jason generally doesn't want to be missed. he wants people to know he's coming for them. wants them to be afraid. it's a little less convenient now, when he's throwing a leg over it and shifting hips forward a bit to try and readjust himself without actually reaching his hand down. no one can see the way his lips twist into a displeased scowl, nor the discomfort in his expression when he shifts back again and - starts up the bike.

takes off away from the bar. his safehouse is several miles away; jason goes for one that's a bit of a distance away to give himself time to calm down on the way. letting dick grayson be caught following him is less than ideal, so he takes a less crowded path, goes down alleys, and intentionally makes it a little harder than necessary to follow him, while also giving dick some cover so no one's going on twitter posting pics of him following after some murderous asshole in a mask. )

[cohero]

[It takes Dick a while to figure out which streets Jay is leading him down and around. He knows for a fact that they aren't going straight to the safe house, which is most certainly smart in Dick's mind. It would be stupid to do anything that brazen after the scene they both made at the bar. Dick hadn't meant for the door to break off the hinges, but they were having a minor pissing contest and the door happen to be collateral damage. Luckily after his surveillance of the scene, Dick noticed the bartender stuffing cash in their pocket.

It was good enough, he figured. They were done and paid for and the time in the back room was taken care of too. They might as well have rented out a room across the street by the hour, and got bed bugs for it. Flying down the streets catching flashes of red, as he goes Dick holds tight to his dark blue ride that is even darker in the evening, not nearly as flashy because he doesn't need to be seen-- as he chases down Jay.

Most of his brain is on hold still, all giving way to the fire burning in his veins. A tiny part of him screams to turn back, to head back to his place and forget that this happened. Dick, being stupid and vulnerable argues with that voice that he owes Jay now, and he won't have that on the table. Not to mention the rapid flashes of Jay's mouth wide and sliding over his cock keep replaying on repeat in his filthy mind. It's taken over the bat and body as his punishment. Now it's the knowledge of the secret he's given up. ]

[reneger]

( he loses visibility of dick, for a little while. figures for a moment that maybe he'd lost him, and maybe it's better that way - until his sleek dark bike shows up again after jason's been traveling down a straight alley for a little while. the heavy beat of his heart really fucks him over; he doesn't want to be excited about it, but he is. at least they're far enough away that there's no way in hell dick's catching onto that reaction; the thrum of excitement that races through him when he realizes he hasn't lost dick after all.

it's another few turns before jason's bike pulls into a very small garage door that looks like it's attached to the side of an abandoned warehouse; there's a for sale sign tacked to the door along with a phone number, but the number leads to an office that promises paperwork only to send it nowhere. because the inside of the warehouse makes it very clear it's not abandoned: motion sensor lights turn on as jason drives his bike in, showing a large, empty space just inside. there's another couple bikes up against the walls; one without tires that's up on a hydraulic lift that's clearly being worked on, the other with a fresh coat of black paint on it and a toolbox just beside it. jason parks his bike far enough inside the door to make room for dick's, if he manages to get there in time before the door closes behind jason. and jason - swings his leg off the bike. looks out to the space to the side where he keeps his bikes: there's a frame up on one of the walls full of knives, swords, and other fun pointy toys. another frame with a few of his favorite guns in it, a large bed pushed up against the wall, a dresser beside it, and the alarm system on the wall which jason's approaching so he can turn it off before it starts setting off every other security measure he's spent a significant amount of time meticulously setting up. )

[cohero]

[Every now and again Dick picks the wrong side street, but the visibility is good enough that he catches flashes of red that clue him in to where he's going and he follows along. The closer he gets the more anticipation knots up his system. He already had his cock in Jay's mouth, what's more to be anxious about. Plenty. He tells himself, but he still follows Jason into the parking garage. He pulls in slow, looking around as he does. It's not a bad little safehouse as far as they go. He's got a good set up.

Already noting the security, Dick continues the sweep before even pulling off his helmet. The wall makes him smile, even the gun portion. It's neat and full of fun toys that would make training enjoyable, and work even more enjoyable. Dick may not use the lethal toys as he thinks of them, but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate them for what they are and that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to use them if need ever arises. At least he's not ignorant. That would be a disservice to them all.

Finally there's the tiny little living portion. Nodding, Dick pulls his helmet off and shakes out his hair. Climbing off his bike, he walks over to the other bikes-- the works in progress.]

Not bad. You keeping this one stealth, or going to dress her up as well?

[Dick slides a finger over the seat, not wanting to mess with the paint job considering how fresh it smells. He wanders over to the wall of toys and begins to look over the knives and swords until Jason decides to join him, or move somewhere beyond the security system.]

[reneger]

( they're on jason's turf now. not out and about, not where anyone can easily find them now that he's gone through and reset the security system. the shift is obvious: when jason goes from stiff-shouldered to slouching over a little more comfortably as he removes the hood and sets it down on top of a nearby bookshelf. shrugs off his jacket and hangs it up on one of the wall hooks.

the tips of his ears are red, confidence from before replaced with something more - nervous. it's one thing when jason's antagonizing dick on purpose, pushing his buttons because he knows he can. it's another entirely when he's not pushing dick into walls in seedy bars and is instead - standing in his own safehouse, watching dick examine his shit. )

She's my day rider. ( for when he's not going out as red hood, when he's using one of numerous aliases that aren't his name, because jason's used to being legally dead. jason todd hasn't existed for him since he was fifteen, which is just fine with him. it doesn't necessarily answer dick's question, but he's sure he can read between the line: it's not meant to be attention-grabbing.

jason walks away from the panel he'd been working on, leans down to start undoing the gun holsters strapped to his thighs. )

[cohero]

[Even though they'd been alone at the bar, Jason had stood taller, had been more interested in being in Dick's space, challenging his moves and digging into the little crevices of weaknesses he found. Now that they've returned to a more neutral space Dick finds the change enlightening. The attraction is still there, how could it not be. There's both personalities running beneath the surface, dancing for control, but this is the one that lives day to day, even if the other peeks out to push and prod when it needs to.

Dick follows the line of weapons along the wall to the bed and glances around for other seating. If he finds it, that's where he settles down, if not-- then it's all about the bed. It's only a means to finding some place to relax after all the tension he's worked through. While getting an earthshattering blowjob might not sound like something that creates tension, it certainly worked a few rocks into Dick's back and shoulders seconds after he came.

That's how he knows that he shouldn't be here, but it doesn't matter because Dick doesn't listen to the common sense in his head the majority of the time. He told himself that he would after the pit, but apparently the little voice in his head is easy to silence with a bit of pretend toilet paper shoved between his ears. ]

She's pretty, makes sense. I've got one as well, but she's in for a tune-up.

[Eyes follow Jason as he moves, and watch carefully as he removes the weapons from his body. It's always a small chore dressing down after being out. Dick knows the process well, at least how it goes from his end. He imagines that Jason carries enough gear on him to do the job equally as well, especially since he's been doing it solo a lot longer. ]

[reneger]

( there's a desk chair settled in front of a large desk holding a ratty laptop - this isn't his best safehouse, just the one he's currently been stowing away in - and a second-hand couch up against another wall with a coffee table in front of it. the coffee table is where the gun holsters go, guns still clipped in. the safety's on, jason's not worried about them any. the knife holsters in his boots go next, also left on the coffee table for the moment. the jacket he stripped is where he keeps most of his toys, knives sewn into the sides, hidden pockets holding smoke pellets, wire, extra clips for when he runs low on the clips he has stored on his holsters. there's the kris dagger, strapped to the back of his belt which is the next thing he removes and also puts down on the coffee table.

it leaves jason mostly disarmed. there's still the kevlar armor, the heavy boots that are significantly looser now that he's removed the holsters from them, but the rest is mostly just - jason.

jason, who's taking his gloves off and finally running fingers through his hair to fix the strands dick had been yanking on earlier. combs it back to smooth out tangles.

tries not to think too hard on the whole, dick followed him here after jason let him fuck his mouth bit. if he doesn't think about it, he can maintain at least acting casual even if he does have dick in a space that's very clearly jason's. he's not big on sharing, is even less big on letting people know where he likes to hunker down at night or when he's fucked up. having dick's hands on his head guiding him forward as he pushed down his throat is no big deal, letting dick chill out in one of his private spaces is something else entirely. )

Could've called me. I fix up my own.

( not quite an offer, but not not one either. jason's handy, especially with all things that go vroom. )

sorry if the brain is a little off, but I need writing to focus on for semblance of sanity. Forgive.

[cohero]

[The one that his Jason keeps is quite a bit tighter, and barely fits two bodies side by side. Dick stayed there for a few days and this conquers that by leaps and bounds. Besides, Dick's got his own rough and tumbles in various locations and stations all over the city as well. Jay was lucky that he Dick let him into his own space as well. It was a vulnerability that Dick didn't share with many. He bought up that top floor and roof under an assumed name, and while it was a large purchase it was hardly down by the ritz.

Settling down on the rattletrap couch, Dick sinks back and wonders for a second if it'll eat him when he reaches the back. He pushes forward and leans on his knees, eyes swiping the place trying not to make Jay as nervous as he seems. He can't blame him. It takes trust to let a stranger into one of his safe houses, even if he has another, picking up and moving is a pain in the ass.

Dick makes a silent promise to himself that while he wants a whole hell of a lot of things, he doesn't want to make it so that he'll leave Jason without his space. Shoving out a long breath, Dick fingers through his own hair again and glances up at Jason when he's stripped down. He wants to pull him over into a kiss, into something that brings them back on level again, and wonders if in this space it's on him to do it. After all, he was the one who was told to pay attention.

He also doesn't want to get hit, emotionally or physically. Both hurt.]

You do a good job. I let the old garage fix it, but I'll bring it to you if you want. You know more about cycles. If you want. We can strike up some deal that suits, I'm sure.

[Tipping his head to the side, Dick looks him over.]

Need a drink before you come over here, or am I going to have to come over there.

♡

[reneger]

( pay attention to me, jason had demanded, and he'd meant it. pay attention to him, because he's shit at paying attention to himself. shit at asking for things. shit at opening his mouth and not making a mess out of everything. pay attention to him, because he wants attention - a lot more than he's willing to voice. more than he'll admit to himself half the damn time, too. adrenaline may have loosened his tongue earlier, but now that it's gone he's left - wondering what the hell he's gotten himself into.

it's not that he regrets letting dick in. inviting him over, doing what he did. it's that jason doesn't know where the hell to go from here. he could go over to the couch, climb right on top of dick and push him back against the couch. fuck into his mouth with his tongue and touch him, warm him right back up to where they'd been before.

maybe that would be easier. not to have to bother with words to figure out where the hell they're at, but just shove dick over and do whatever the hell he wants. dick's asking, he wants it still. jason's looking over to dick out of the corner of his eyes, mulling it over. the bed's a little bit of a distance away, which is just fine - they don't need that. dick's asking what jason wants to do, if he wants to come closer, if he wants dick to be the one to bridge the distance. )

You want your bikes up to B's code without B getting his nose into shit, you should bring 'em to me.

( it's an offer. one he's leaving out there, and moving around the coffee table to come up right next to where dick's sitting. considers pushing dick back against the couch so he can climb right onto him, but opts not to. not just yet. stands close by instead, and offers a small, amused grin. it doesn't quite reach his eyes, but that's more nerves than anything else. )

If you break my furniture, you're the one who's gonna have to pay to replace it. I know where you keep your funds, don't think I won't take it from you.

[cohero]

[Those words had replayed non-stop in Dick's head since he heard them. They were what pushed him to keep going every time he knew he should stop. They were the hope in the back of his head. They were the soft plea of someone who really wanted something. It was the way that they came across that did Dick in completely and he knew it. It honestly didn't take Dick long to decide that he was going to be what Jason needed if he could. It scared the shit out of him, and he knew that he'd be hurt and torn up, but sometimes pain was worth what came across the finish line. It wasn't like he hadn't died to a life before.

If Jason had come over and treated Dick like a slut, he wouldn't have taken it here. There was something about that bar and how he'd used Jason that will probably never set right, but Dick will make up for it. There's a way Dick treats lovers, even ones that may not end up where he wishes it might. Dick is a world of things with any given partner and there are times he might even use them exactly like he used Jason, but it context speaks volumes.

Dick smirks a little at Jay's statement. He wants to remind Jay that since Bruce's attempted suicide he's not around here to dig into anything that Dick does, but he's not going to bring it up. He knows there's something there, even if he doesn't know what it is yet. He'll find out. Eventually. That doesn't mean he wouldn't bring his shit here. He trusts Jason with his wheels, all of them, even the best, especially the best, far more than he does anyone else. ]

You've got my business. It's not a hard sell, gorgeous.

[Feeling Jay in his space makes Dick anxious and relaxed all at once. He wants to drop his walls, to let the other in, but he doesn't know when to give an inch. Because all inches can be put together into feet and possibly used as canon fodder. Taking a breath, Dick stands and drives his hands up along the Kevlar. He slowly starts to undo the fastenings on it. At the same time, he leans in and kisses softly at the side of Jason's neck, light presses of lips, promises of what's to come eventually. Dick's paying attention, a lot of attention, and it's going to last a while this time.]

[reneger]

( he's here. he's moved into dick's space of his own free will, which counts for a lot. there's a lot of shit he and dick should probably talk about, eventually. the differences between them, the expectations built off of other selves that don't quite match up. he's certain dick's running everything he knows about his jason against him, which is fair. they've got the same name, a similar background, they were both robin.

it's the robin connection that still binds them. it's dick's name, passed through five different brats by jason's time, six if you count duke - which, considering duke doesn't like being counted as a robin, jason generally doesn't. but dick grayson always counts. this one's different, older, more visibly sharp whereas the grayson had been familiar with worked hard to sand down the edges. he's different. it makes this feel easier, in a way.

easy enough that when dick stands up and presses against jason, jason's leaning into him. tilts his neck back to give dick more room to work with and reaches behind himself to grab onto the elasticy fabric of his shirt, starts yanking it up and off of his head. the kevlar's thicker in parts of it, strapped tight together in others to help lessen the number of weak spots in his armor, but it's all the same piece which makes pulling it off significantly easier than if it wasn't. it slides up his abdomen as he pulls back out of dick's reach just long enough to yank it up and off of his head, dropping it, too, down onto the coffee table before jason's takes a step forward and - presses right up against dick, chest-to-chest.

he's covered in scars, but jason doubts any of that is surprising. flash burns, cigarette burns, bullet wounds, plenty of places where someone's managed to dig something sharp and pointy into him, some mangled and making it clear where jason had to stitch and then restitch because he refused to sit down and let it heal first and instead pulled his work loose. the thick line across the right side of his neck, where bruce had sliced through his throat.

nothing worth pausing over.

with his own shirt removed, jason slides his hand back and under dick's shirt, fingers moving up to fit over his ribcage. )

You said you wanted it to be different. Wanna elaborate?

[cohero]

[It's all a learning curve in Dick's book. One he'll do his best to catch onto as quickly as possible to drag them through the least amount of mud, gore and unpleasant pain as possible, because he has this tiny notion that as much as Jay like might picking at scabs and flicking them across the room, not caring what they become. The bigger wounds are not so fun to dig at. They're the ones that get tossed around with temper and then apologized over, possibly. Dick still isn't quite sure. He's still climbing this hill with his training wheels on, as much as he always hated them.

There were comparisons, but they were quickly falling away left and right, bleeding away as one does toxins from a wound. Not that either of them were toxic, just that they weren't native to the system and while there were minor similarities, the major characteristics attached didn't gather themselves up the same way. Maybe that should have pushed Dick away, made him reconsider. It should have made his desire less. He'd never found men particularly attractive. Maybe one or two, but the deep gravel of Jay's voice and the smart attitude, the way he watched his brain work during training and while they were at the bar had him hard thinking of it.

It quickly drew Dick in, and held him there. Maybe his heart was too lost in the other Jason to know how to change certain affections and that should have already happened, Dick himself didn't understand why it didn't. He knew within one set conflict that one Red Hood was not like the rest. He inhaled deeply now as he stood here and watched this one pull his shirt off. Dick ran his fingers along Jay's body, tracing scars that he thought were nothing but beautiful, history, and while he knew they represented pain, and sometimes things barely remembered, they were all a part of the man in front of him.

When he reached the scar on his neck, he bit his lip. Dick's whole being ached to kiss over it, to taste the scar tissue. To take down the person who had done that to Jay. He figured it had been one of his killing wounds, but that didn't fit either story. His brow furrowed. Letting Jay touch him, Dick reached down and pulled his own shirt off. He had his own tale of scars, a few stray bullets, plenty of pointy things that got through and a nasty mark on his shoulder, straight through, then there was his own mark on his neck. A garish scar that look like his neck has been blasted open and only scar tissue remained. Mostly the truth.

Moving back in, Dick pressed their bodies together, and kissed Jay's shoulder from blade to neck, soft not harsh. and looked back. ]

It's not a type of different I suspect you or I really can create together I've realized. I want a relationship, but you're not in any place to want one if I read you right, and I don't know you. I don't know but a few things about you. That doesn't mean I don't want this. I still want it. I haven't changed my mind. It took me a while to figure it out, but I'm not running. I'm here to pay attention to what you have to show me. I'm not going to be really great at it, but I'm learning.

[reneger]

( dick presses in close, and jason's wrapping around him as best as he can: one arm around his ribcage still, the other raising to thread fingers through dick's hair just above his ear as he presses kisses along jason's shoulder. he's quiet, for a moment. letting that sit between them, because dick's - well, he's right. he doesn't know jason. or he does in some ways, but clearly doesn't in others. )

I told you before that I don't have time to fuck around, an' I meant it. ( it's quiet, voice a little unsure. dick may have admitted to a big secret earlier, but he's getting an equally large one out of jason. ) I wouldn't've just blown anyone like that. Hell, I haven't done that in, ( lips press together into a thin line, thinking. ) years. I don't let people touch me, and I sure as hell don't let them fuck my face.

( it's - a trust thing. a being vulnerable in front of another human being. dick isn't just anyone, it wasn't nothing to jason, nor is this. )

You want me to show you? See how it feels when it's with another guy? I can. But 's not gonna just--be dicking around. Not for me.

( he could really get into it. go into depth about his trust issues, go into why he's got them, but jason's fairly certain dick doesn't need a play-by-play. he's not wrong in jason not being ready for any kind of relationship, but, hell - all of his relationships that he's had have gotten people killed, tortured, kidnapped into space, or thrown into black holes. and none of those had even gone anywhere at that point. because jason--he pines. he'll crush hard on someone for years, pretend that maybe, possibly it could go somewhere - and the moment he catches an inkling of it potentially becoming something, he either fucks off and ruins it himself or the world ruins it for him.

jason todd doesn't do relationships, because he ruins everything he touches. )

[cohero]

[The pieces tumble onto the puzzleboard already being worked at by a larger hand with a large clatter. Now Dick sees a much clearer picture than the little tiny bits that he'd been shown in the past. It didn't line up clearly in his mind. There are times when he barely needs a corner and he's got the entire riddle solved, but this time he had to have all the corners in their places, and a lot of the edging done before he could revel any of the center. It frustrated him, but in the end it's always worth it-- it's always worth it.

It doesn't matter if this particular puzzle evades him for years to come, continually adding and subtracting. It's something to be expected, but as long as his hand is moving along the board and his mind entangled in the equation, then he knows he can dive with it. Somehow, it works in the same manner that Dick massages his fingers into the tiny bit of scruff of hair at the base of Jason's neck while Dick listens intently to every word he has to say.

There's a nod, and Dick slides his hand down to rest at Jays' hip, injecting small circles into play that cover the back curve of his bone and the muscle that sides next to it. Being vulnerable isn't easy for either of them. No one seems to hold the patent on that one there. Is it worth the risk, Dick looks deeply at Jay. He's already told himself that he'd do this, that he wanted to do this, take this chance. ]

I'm not jerking you around. I can't do that. This is serious for me too, and no one else is touching me, or will be touching me. It's only you that I'm looking at. I don't find anyone else remotely ... like you, and I'm talking you, not some other Jason I know. So, yeah, I want to know what it's like with you, not just some guy, with you, Jason.

[To that, Dick leans in and tips his head the amount needed to kiss Jay on the lips, this time it's firmer than the last. It's not as brutal as he took him in the bar, because the need wasn't as desperate. He didn't feel like Jay was going to disappear through his finger tips if he let go for one second. There would be time for things to grow to those levels eventually, because Dick knew himself and how he could be. This was something he wanted enough, that he would become starved for it, and beg at these lips to taste every last drop that they wanted to give them-- but for now, he started slowly, nipping and licking lightly, playfully even]

[reneger]

( his neck is usually a bit of a sore spot; it's an easy place to damage, and one that bruce himself has fucked up enough to make jason--hesitant about letting any other bat near it. but dick reaches out for him, massages fingers against the back of his neck, and it feels good.

it might be how fucking touch-starved he is, but he's not psychoanalyzing himself. that's just asking for trouble, and jason gets himself into enough of it as-is without digging into all his emotional problems.

not that this is doing him much better. dick touches him, and jason's melting into it. his shoulders slouch, his body angles itself a little closer to dick, pressing into the hand at his hip and the one at the back of his neck. closes his eyes as he lets dick touch him. enjoys it for the moment, even if he doesn't trust this to last worth shit. either he'll ruin it, or dick'll fuck off on him, or any other fun combination of life-ruining bullshit that follows jason everywhere he goes. it's always a risk. it's always something that happens, but jason knows he's desperate enough to risk it anyway.

that he craves affection like this even if he knows it'll ruin him in the end. that he wants it desperately, enough he'll risk fucking himself over. that his warning to dick about jason running away was more right than he cares to admit, because chances of it happening are extremely high still, even though he's pressing into dick, leaning close. because he wants it but he knows it'll ruin them.

dick leans in for a kiss, and jason melts into that too. raises his hand to cup the side of dick's neck, palm pressing against where it curves into his shoulder. there's no real pressure, it's just--touch, gentle and easy as he hums against dick's lips.

pulls back when he nips at his lips, just enough so he can speak. )

What do you want? Or do you wanna--wing it?

( haha, get it? nightwing, winging it. )

[cohero]

[All of it is enough to enforce the idea, the fact, the truth that this is real. It's not some fabricated plan to work Dick up to a point of no return and then flit away and leave him on a platter for the ravens to come pick at whatever pieces are left. Whatever happens between them from this point, Dick knows that Jason's going to see it through to conclusion. Not used to being this raw and vulnerable, there's still a trickle of fear that Dick has to stomp out.

The way Jason melts into him and against him goes a long way into helping it disappear. The air is thick with a desperation that comes from both sides of the coin it feels like, and Dick can't be positive, but he would like to think that Jason really does need this as much as he does. This will be a thing of value for both of them, and Dick isn't giving away this piece of himself to just anyone-- it's going to matter.

The slide of Jay's hand along his neck, makes Dick sigh. He returns the nips, and licks across lips that leave him starved for more. Letting his free hand drift over and along whatever it finds, Dick is half in love with everything he touches-- every ripple of muscle, drift of scar tissue, and flat of smooth flesh sends electrical impulses straight down to tighten the knot already settled low in his stomach, and beyond. ]

I don't know enough to know what I want. Lets just see how it works. Show me. I want you to feel good too.

[Sliding his mouth downward, Dick kisses over Jason's jaw and moves to the open smooth flesh of jay's neck-- trying to stay away from anything that might make him overly uncomfortable and sucks kisses into the skin, muttering softly about how good he tastes. The lower he goes, the more intent his mouth becomes on pulling at the skin. When it reaches the fleshy hollow above Jay's collarbone, Dick sucks his mark into the skin softly, taking his time with it, caressing the skin with his tongue in the same way his hand caresses the small of Jay's back. It's all about a change of pace for now. Showing that Dick can be both things, desperate and hungry, fierce and demanding, but also tender and needy all at once. ]

[reneger]

( he already feels good. a little overwhelmed, maybe, to have dick's attention focused on him like this. and to not have been given a clear pathway to what dick wants, exactly. i don't know enough, he says, which puts more pressure on jason to make sure he doesn't somehow fuck this up. if dick had asked for a blowjob, jason would have been all over that. a handjob, even, if he wanted to shove jason up against a wall and fuck him hard, or wanted jason to put him down to bed and take him apart so slowly he was shaking by the end of it - jason knows how to do that. showing someone, going through soft touches while dick works to map out his body, finding scar tissue while also being careful to avoid any of the messier ones. this, jason doesn't know how to.

teeth dig into his lower lip as a shudder wracks through his spine when dick's tongue licks over skin, but it's not--it's not because he's not enjoying it, but the opposite.

jason likes soft touches almost as much as he enjoys going hard enough he doesn't have to stop and thing. it's just - it complicates shit. it makes it harder for him, because he's not running on adrenaline. fingers grip harder onto dick, blunt nails digging into flesh before he loosens his hold and instead drags nails down over dick's chest until he can grasp hold of him by his hips. )

Bed.

( it's less asking, more telling before his grip tightens and he's pulling dick in closer still, fingers holding on tight to lift him off the ground if dick will allow jason hold onto him. dick's about the same height as he is, but jason's got a shitton of muscle over him and has lugged around heavier. he's moving to wrap an arm around dick's thighs, to pull him up and close so jason can cart the both of them over towards the mattress. )

[cohero]

[Honestly, the last thing that Dick wanted to do was make it more difficult-- but he warned Jason out of the gate that he had no clue what he was doing. He also said straight up front that he was brilliant at fucking things up. Apparently he was right on par there. Not that he had a clue he was already doing it with the way he was touching, kissing, seeking out to try and do his best to give all he knew how to another person.

Dick wasn't a bad lover. He knew he wasn't that. There was talent in his fingers, his mouth. He'd done a lot of things with women. There were ways to touch, to caress. Maybe men were different, how was he supposed to know that Jason preferred something more tangible, a little more harsh, more telling. This was Dick, and he could only do what he knew for now. He could only act on what he had in front of him, and that was this man that took him apart by merely standing there. Jay didn't get it. It didn't take a million touches, or two or three more blowjobs to pull Dick apart piece by piece. It took this. It was all of it, all of him. The ability to touch, to know. Dick was peeling bits of himself away with every kiss, Every touch he gave offered a minor part of himself that he knew he wasn't getting back, and still he did it because he wanted to-- no, needed to on some level. Such a masochist he'd been molded into by the creator's hand. In truth, Dick could blame a billion different things, but at the end of the day, it was only him left standing, alone to atone for all his actions.

Dick easily went into Jason's arms, reactive to the touches offered. His back arched and hips gave way. The red lines down his chest made him look down with abject hunger. The soft flame that lit his loins and had them curling tight and low, began to glow brighter, sharper, all a direct reflection of the way he was touched. Dick's own blunt nails curled into the back of Jay's neck, and dug in tight as he was carried. ]

I want you. I want to taste you, different parts of you, but ultimately I want you, whether you take me, or I take you. I want to fuck. I feel it so ... fuck. I want you. okay, it's hard to think of anything else.

[Finally, Dick's mouth gave way the final truth of what he wanted. It wasn't easy for him to spit it out, but he had an idea in his head of what he wanted. There was an order there. Things in his head, means to an end, but he had to know a few certain facts first. ]

sorry for the delay! i went down a comics spiral for the last.. week.

[reneger]

( he likes the weight. feeling dick against him, knowing it's jason holding him up currently, that if he let go, dick'd--well, he'd catch himself, but he's trusting jason not to let him go. and jason's moaning soft against dick's mouth, barely audible but enough dick can feel it. jason doesn't watch where he's going, not when he's got his full attention on dick, but it doesn't matter. the safehouse is small enough, there's no stairs to cross, he can make it over to his bed with minimal issues. once his shins hit the mattress, jason drops himself forward and down, moving one hand off of dick's thighs so he can press that palm against the mattress beside dick's head.

boxing him in, but not crowding him too much. his knees stay on the bed so he's not pushing all his weight down onto dick, spreading wide enough to make room for dick's own between them if he chooses to lower them from around jason's waist.

grins down at him, once he's pulled himself up enough to look down to him. it doesn't quite reach his eyes, but he's working on it. )

You don't want me to wrap my hand around both of us and jack us off together? Or push your thighs together an' get off between 'em? Use you while you're squirming?

( fake confidence, he can do. he's feeling a little more settled now that he's got leverage over dick again, more like he can fake his way through figuring out whatever he's--doing with this. mouthing off has always been one of jason's better talents.

it's just the follow-through he gets nervous with. )

no troubles. it's been a little bit of hell here. the brain has been off-kilter.

[cohero]

[There's a rhythm, a cadence in the step, the way that Dick's carried and the way that Jay doesn't even look at the room around him, but only at Dick as he recounts what he wants. Then he's falling and crashing into the bed with Jason on top of him. It's so completely different from anything he's ever felt before, jarring and strange. Dick feels even more exposed with his body wrapped tight around Jay, knowing that he offered himself up for the taking.

Strong legs cling like virtual vices, but the springs are loose. Dick's hips rock and bring their pelvises into contact. He can see the color in Jay's eyes and knows that it's not the passion that he'd seen before. There's something missing. Not knowing this Jay, Dick wonders if it's what he requested. Was it not how he was supposed to respond. Dick knows that he warned Jason that he didn't do things halfway. He said before that he wanted it all.

Leaning up, he cut off the suggestions with his mouth, shoving his tongue against those words the same way he dug his fingers into Jay's hair. He tugged at the growing hairs, and pulled them a little tighter than he had since they'd been here. Taking a breath, he licked over the bite to Jay's lip that he'd given him earlier. ] No. More. I told you what I wanted. If you won't fuck me, then I'll fuck you. I want to feel something deep. Not hands, not thighs, the real thing, Jason.

[reneger]

( dick rocks up against him and god, jason loves the feeling of how wrapped around him he is. strong thighs around his waist, fingers digging hard into his hair as dick shoves his tongue into his mouth, and jason's shuddering from the sensation of it. from how perfect dick feels in his arms, to how bossy he is - how he bites and nips and licks and demands and it's - if the moan spilling from his lips has anything to say about it, jason's certainly enjoying himself. )

's all real, y'know. But I hear you. ( he leans in a little closer, just for a moment. nips at dick's jawline hard enough to leave teeth imprints behind in his skin, then lowers a hand down to push gently at dick's hip. jason'd love to stay wrapped up in him forever, to rut against each other just like this until they made a mess of themselves, but dick is being needy, and who is he to tell him no? especially when dick's demands align with what he wants. jason shimmies down the mattress as best as he can, leaving bitemarks and bruises along dick's neck and chest as he goes. intent on lowering himself down between dick's legs. if he wants to feel something deep, jason's going to take his time prepping him for it. )

[cohero]

[There's a whole hell of a lot more that Dick could do to explain the meaning of the word real, and exactly what he wants, but he's at the point now where fuck if he's going to let go and do anything opposite--even if it doesn't reach Jay's eyes, Dick will figure out how to deal with the consequences later. The moans are enough to keep him going.

Offering himself up, Dick drops his legs from their tight grip-- but that doesn't mean he lets go. His fingers still grip and pull, they tangle in trusses and then scrape over the edges of tightly corded muscles. ]

Fuck. Your body is amazing.

[Ugh. Dick can't help but almost whimper at how Jason's mouth works over him. No one has tasted him like this, no one has dared. The bites and bruises are perfect accoutrements to whatever comes next. Dick curls his lip between his teeth, and sucks on it. He has an idea about what he's going to feel, but given that he's never even attempted to try it out himself, Dick's anxious for the intrusion. The muscles of his legs tighten and give, thighs quiver as he sits there waiting for Jason's next move.]

Yes. This is what I want. I want to feel you. You're so damn good at this.

[reneger]

( he likes the taste of dick against his tongue (ha) more than jason'll care to admit to out loud. loves digging his teeth into him, biting and nipping and sucking marks into his skin, scraping teeth against his ribcage with a soft, pleased hum when fingertips dig into one of the more recent scrapes he's got on his back. jason could keep this up for hours, tasting every inch of dick, memorizing every scar he doesn't recognize, every new mark, the noises that pass dick's lips as jason slides down further, finds new skin to explore. )

Compliments'll get you everywhere.

( his voice is teasing, rough around the edges, and jason's - tipping his head back to look up to dick as he gets his weight up onto his knees between dick's thighs. grips onto pants to undo them for the second time tonight, so he can yank them and his underclothes down legs and off. they're in his way. and the grin that curls up the corners of jason's kiss-swollen lips reflects that same teasing tone; the tense line of his shoulders has loosened some, he knows what he's doing, he can manage this. )

Drawer to your right's got lube in it. Whenever you manage to get that way, don't rush on my account. ( because he's comfortable down here, thanks. dick said he wants more, he wants to feel something deep, and jason'll give it to him. eventually. right now? he's wrapping arms around dick's thighs, yanking him down the mattress a little as jason ducks down to start nipping at the inside of his legs, leaving a similar trail to the one he'd left down dick's stomach. )

[cohero]

[One of the biggest things that Dick never does in his struggle for perfection is give up all the hard won control and perfect planning. If this didn't happen to be spur of the moment, then what could truly be counted such. Then there's the fact that there's barely any real control allotted to the older male laying sprawled out on the simple mattress. They're at Jay's place, and Dick's body is at his mercy. If Dick had his way, he would be the one who would get to draw paintings with his mouth across that muscled perfection. It didn't matter if Jay saw it as such or not; Dick certainly did.

For now, Dick could do what he could to make do with what he had. Maybe it took him a little bit, but when he noted a gasp or inhale, Dick began to notice the pattern. If Jay was making Dick's body a minefield of teethmarks and a stunning landmine of hickeys. All of which heralded the fact that Dick's body, when finished would belong to no one other than Jason, Dick figured he might return a small amount of the same. He found the scrapes and bruises on Jason's body and he began to press into them with his fingers.

Dick would elongate one here, and deepen one there. Where there was skin to touch, Dick found it, and marked it in his own way, darkening that which was there and making his own marks. If he couldn't taste Jason the way he wished, then he'd touch him everywhere he could. ]

Lube. Right...

[There was a turn for it, but Dick's eyes were busy feasting on Jay's body as it moved between his legs again. He recalled very well what happened previously. While that was utterly a feat beyond anything Dick had to compare, what was happening here was different and better in ways that he would think about later as he looked at the body Jason created in the mirror. Reaching for the drawer, his fingers missed it when he was tugged. He didn't bother to try again because Dick found his thigh being sucked at, and blood rushed to the surface along with a loud, lingering moan.]

Jesus, fuck. Jason. God. You're going to make me come before you even touch me anywhere.

[It wasn't true, but Dick could feel the way his cock responded, the way blood rushed through his body. All his neurotransmitters sent him through the roof with sensitivities that rocked his body and his hips toward and then back down into the bed, uncertain of how to deal with the pressures of Jay's mouth. The tip of Dick's lip that he'd had in his teeth earlier had bled red, and subsequently wandered along his tongue. He rolled it over his lips and painted them an off color of crimson glancing up at everything he was being given.]

[reneger]

( jason's very intentionally avoiding going anywhere near dick's cock. not because he doesn't want it, because hell - he'd love to get this mouth back on him, to swallow him down once more, to pull back just enough as he comes to gather his seed on his tongue, to show it to dick before he curls his tongue into the other's mouth and makes him taste himself. he would, but he knows damn well that grayson's just going to bitch because he'd asked for something specific, not that.

(which, really, jason appreciates. having guidelines, knowing what someone wants, being told where they want shit to go makes it easier. he knows where to focus his attention, doesn't have to stress so much about fucking it up. maybe he'd hate it if dick tried to tell him what to do in any other scenario, but this is different.)

dick tries and fails to grapple for the drawer, which jason doesn't mind. his mouth presses right up against the inside of dick's thigh, close enough to his cock his jawline brushes against it, but jason - skips right over it still. shifts instead, to bite a line against his hip and sucks hard until dick's skin is red from it.

pulls back for a moment, fingers gripping tight onto his leg. )

If you come, I'll get you hard again. ( a cheeky little grin gets thrown dick's way, as jason noses in against his stomach. ) Or I'll fuck you anyway. You've been asking so nicely, I'd just hate to ruin it for you.

( his tone's light, playful. the grip on dick's thigh loosens so jason can slip both arms under dick's ass, weight on his elbows under him, and - closes his eyes as he pulls dick's balls into his mouth for just a moment, teasing, before he drags the flat of his tongue down further, against his hole. he'd promised to fuck dick, he hadn't said he wouldn't take his time in getting there. )